SHUT UP and VOTE!

[September 22nd, 2004]

^Klingons for Kerry

EXCLUSIVE: Straw-poll shocker! Fierce warrior race strongly backs Democrat.

Even as John Kerry struggles to establish national-security credentials nationally, an exclusive WW straw poll shows his campaign dominating one skeptical, warlike demographic: Klingons.

The poll, conducted when the DVD release of the Star Trek fan documentary Trekkies 2 attracted Portland's Klingon community to Tower Records on Southeast 102nd Avenue, may spell trouble for President George W. Bush.

The incumbent has staked his campaign on the war on terror. But those who speak the language of the Trek warrior race--known to disdain dishonor, or quvHa'ghach--seem alienated by Iraq and other issues.

According to the poll of eight local Klingons, a whopping 75 percent support the Democratic nominee.

Two Klingons polled--or 25 percent--said they planned to write in Satan.

Bush scored an abysmal zero percent in the poll.

"A good war is based on honor, not deception," says K'tok (Earth name: Clyde Lewis), a 40-year-old Klingon from Lair Hill. "The first warrior, President Bush, deceived us all with this war."

Portland Klingon speakers are increasingly influential. Last year, Multnomah County's mental-health services opened a search for a Klingon interpreter to work with speakers of the language.* Though the Klingons polled all appeared to be registered voters, they emulate an unfamiliar political system.

"On the home world, if there had been a contested election between Gore and Bush, the honorable thing would be for Gore to kill Bush," explained Khraanik (Earth name: Jason Lewis), a 38-year-old from Southeast Portland. "Or the other way around. And then ascend to the head of the High Council."

It's too early for Kerry to chill the ceremonial bloodwine, but Portland Klingons are clearly warming to the cerebral Massachusetts Democrat.

"Kerry has shown his prowess," says 33-year-old Neqha (Earth name: Eric King) of Tigard. "He saved his fellow warrior under the gun, and has been commended and awarded medals."

Neither the Bush nor Kerry campaigns were immediately available for comment on the poll results.

--Dominic Luxford with Zach Dundas

[* No, we're not making this up.]

^Iranians for Goli

Call it the Persian Paradox. Iranian-Americans, one of America's best-educated and well-off ethnic groups, are politically invisible.

Goli Ameri, the Republican chasing incumbent David Wu in the 1st Congressional District, could change that. Ameri has electrified Portland's 10,000-strong Iranian community.

"She's united us," says Nader Sabahi, a Beaverton real-estate agent. "When the presidency can be settled by 500 votes, she made us realize how important we could be."

Iranian-Americans donated over $500,000 to the primary campaign of their first candidate for national office. Sabahi says local Iranians tend to be Democrats but that most will likely back Ameri's bid to represent the district, which stretches from west Portland to the coast.

"Not all of us are thrilled about her affiliation," says Soghrab Vossoughi, founder of the Portland design firm Ziba. "I hope she'd bring some sanity to her side of the aisle." Vossoughi adds that Ameri could bring national clout to the community at time when the homeland is seen as a charter Axis of Evil member.

Ameri relishes the prospect of countering the mullahs on the national stage. "Every time the regime does something unsavory, which is quite often, it reflects negatively on the community," she says. "We've never really had another face."

Not everyone's on board. "She's running on behalf of an ultra-fundamentalist administration," says Pedram Moallemian, a Californian who runs an English-language blog for Iranians. "That alone puts a negative twist on everything she says." --Zach Dundas

^BATTLE PLAN

YOUR GUIDE TO THIS WEEK'S POLITICAL WARPATH

* WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 22 *

Portland mayoral candidates Jim Francesconi and Tom Potter and City Council candidates Sam Adams and Nick Fish dish it out at a forum moderated by the League of Women Voters of Portland.

St. David of Wales Episcopal Church, Bishop Morris Hall, 2800 SE Harrison St. 7 pm.

"Rock the Vote" featuring DFive9, Tri-Polar (ex-Everclear and Sweaty Nipples) and Far Cry.

Dante's, 1 SW 3rd Ave., 226-6630. 10 pm. $5 advance tickets. 21+.

* THURSDAY, SEPT. 23 *

City Hall candidates Jim Francesconi, Tom Potter, Nick Fish and Sam Adams debate livability and police accountability at the final You Promised! Town Hall Forum, sponsored by The Portland Mercury.

Metro Assembly of God Church, 5004 NE 6th Ave. Call 294-0840 for information.

* FRIDAY, SEPT. 24 *

Portland City Council candidates Sam Adams and Nick Fish debate the issues at a forum hosted by the City Club of Portland.

Governor Hotel, 611 SW 10th Ave., 228-7231. Call for lunch reservations. Doors 11:30 am, program 12:15 pm. Lunch $18, coffee/tea tickets $5.

DrivingVotes.org presents Tracy Chapman on her Western swing state tour.

Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 233-1994. 8 pm. $35 advance. All ages.

* SATURDAY, SEPT. 25 *

The No on Constitutional Amendment 36 campaign wants you to pay some big bucks to turn back the effort to ban gay marriage. Meet John Cameron Mitchell and Gus Van Sant at a special screening of Jonathan Caouette's critically praised documentary Tarnation.

5:30 pm meet-and-greet, Aura Restaurant and Lounge, 1022 W Burnside St.; 8 pm screening, Guild Theatre, 829 SW 9th Ave.; 10:30 pm after-party, Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St. For tickets and information call (971) 244-1399 ext. 20 or visit www.noon36.com. Entire evening $250, screening and after-party $100, after-party only $25 advance, $35 door.

* TUESDAY, SEPT. 28 *

The Portland Alliance helps Kerry-Nader fence-straddlers think things through with "Beyond the Hype: What's Really at Stake this Election Year," featuring Pentagon Papers whistle-blower and peace activist Daniel Ellsberg, media critic Norman Solomon and globalization activist and Global Exchange co-founder Medea Benjamin. Each presents a perspective on this campaign season, discusses the real issues, and what concerned citizens need to consider.

Portland State University, Smith Memorial Sudent Union Ballroom, 2nd floor, 1825 SW Broadway, 239-4991. 7:30 pm. $3-$15 sliding scale; no one turned away.

^CORNERED!

One candidate. Three questions.

Maryland lawyer Michael Peroutka is the Constitution Party's candidate for president. Promising a return to the values of "God, Family, Republic," the right-wing party opposes abortion and supports an immigration crackdown, among other positions.

WW: How well do you expect to do in Oregon?

Michael Peroutka: I think our prospects are very good. The Oregon party is one of our strongest state parties. But I want to say up front that we don't judge victory by the number of votes we get. We judge victory by telling the truth, defending the Constitution and standing up for the restoration of the Republic.

The big third-party news here has been Ralph Nader--Democrats fear he could tip the state to Bush. Aren't you worried that if you attract enough conservatives, you could tip Oregon to John Kerry?

Not one bit. I could argue that if you believe in the rule of law, you'd actually be better off if Kerry won.

Why?

The thousands of unconstitutional things Kerry will do, conservatives will oppose. On the other hand, Bush will get a pass from conservatives on thousands of unconstitutional things he'll do. So strategically, you could say conservatives are actually better off if Kerry wins. I'm not saying that myself, understand. The major parties both believe in redistribution of wealth. We stand for something quite different: There's a Creator God, and the purpose of government is to protect rights that come from Him. The "lesser of two evils" has given us evil all the way.