He doesn’t matter, except that he’s so bad at his job.
It’s probably cold in church and they can’t kick you out, because it’s church!
The media have been primed to blame this loss on Terry Stotts but, really, the Blazers roster has been increasingly unsustainable for years.
He was impossibly skilled, big with a sweet shooting touch and an unblockable, even kind of beautiful post-up turnaround jumper.
General manager Neil Olshey spent the offseason going all the way in and outfitting the squad to take a real stab at contending.
The Blazers failed to win at basketball, but in a much larger way, they have won, because they get to leave the bubble, see their families again, and order takeout from somewhere that isn’t owned by all-time rent-seeking douche, Houston Rockets owner Tillman Fertitta.
When we last left our local squad, they sucked but not so bad that they didn’t seem like they could scrounge together a good run and take a shot at qualifying for the playoffs. Also, Carmelo Anthony was on the team. You might have seen him at Canard.
Melo has joined the struggling Blazers on the road a few games back, on the heels of a series of terrible offseason moves, and has mostly looked pretty good—at least like an NBA forward, something the Blazers haven’t really had. He’s looked more or less like a facsimile of the Carmelo Anthony of old, rusted by age and a year out of the league, but still in possession of the gifts that have made him a 10 time NBA All-Star.
Tonight, ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski told the world that the ailing Portland Trail Blazers—depleted by injuries and stumbling through the season, racking up embarrassing loss after embarrassing loss—have finally deemed it necessary to seek the services of future Basketball Hall of Famer Carmelo Kyam Anthony on a small, non-guaranteed contract.
A Baker’s Dozen of the Best Chocolate Chip Cookies.
Blazer fans love their team with a fanatical devotion that often blinds them to their shortcomings. But Portland comedians Seth Johnston and Brandon Lyons prefer to express their appreciation in a different way. The duo’s wonderfully jaded Blazers podcast, We Already Had Clyde, stands in stark opposition to the mutant optimism that has cropped up around the team in the past decade.
The 1977 NBA Finals MVP had returned to Portland to lead a procession of cyclists across the Broadway Bridge and into Terry Schrunk Plaza for a special announcement related to the Trail Blazers’ upcoming 50th anniversary season.
Nice wood, with a two-toned key that is pure ’70s, a pinwheel with a “50 “in the middle, PORTLAND and TRAILBLAZERS on the baselines in the beautiful art-deco font the team used until someone convinced them that they should only use san serifs, for some reason.
The Blazers had an absolutely wonderful season and postseason. Lillard managed to hit his second series-winning shot of his career, a 37-foot bomb right in the defender’s face, against the OKC Thunder, a crummy, stolen team that is just a delightful to watch get beat down, while notching his 50th point at the same time. It was just magical.
The blade of revenge for our terrible, smelly, yuppie-infested Seattle blood brothers lies in the Blazers’ hands.