Swag Up Your Dog In These Dorky Halloween Costumes
Don’t be boring and just buy a mane for your golden retriever.
(Amazon)
ByJack Rushall
Your dog probably likes Halloween the least. At Thanksgiving, it gets leftovers; at Christmas, it gets a new toy with a bow on it, on its birthday—well, unless you’re one of those psychos who knows when their dog’s birthday is, who knows when the dog’s birthday is.
But Halloween is a raw deal for our furry friends. If you’re hosting a party, it has to spend the evening dodging partygoers, and its sensitive ears might have to endure some loud tunes. Nevertheless, man’s best friend deserves to be included in the festivities, because there isn’t anything drunk Portlanders love more than a party dog.
You can half-ass it and get your dog the tried and true lion’s mane, but you should put some effort into it and get them something better than the bare minimum. And if you are having a Halloween party, your dog’s getup will likely be the crown jewel of your decorations.
Giddy up, cow dog. This costume includes a cowboy doll that you can strap onto your little wolf’s back. The strap is Velcro (Velcro= comfort), and the doll itself is made of fine cotton and polyester fiber. What this means to the pooch is that there’s no way this little saddle will feel like a weight on their furry shoulders. Do dogs even have shoulders?
Are you excited for the ten versions of The Little Mermaid that are set to come out in the coming years? So is Rover! Glam them up with this glistening shell headband and matching Ariel tail. Why is there a shell bra on the back of the costume? Because…it’s a sea dog.
The good news about this one is that the extra small size fits most cats. Which means you can dress your cat as a “taco cat,” and when someone points out that your cat is dressed as a taco, you can smirk and respond with “actually, she’s dressed as an anagram.” You’ll definitely get laid at a party doing this.
Dogs with boobs. Classy? We think so! Suggested for small dogs, the grass skirt here looks like a bunch of leaves instead of palm fronds, but we will forgive this inaccuracy.
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