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Spotify has released the list of top songs in Portland, and the results are, well, interesting.
Coming in at No. 1 is the song "Where Are Ü Now" (with Justin Bieber), from the Diplo/ Skrillex project Jack Ü. Have you heard of this song? Of course you have. You listened to it like a billion times. I haven't. I don't even know what it is. But you people? You fucking looooove Justin Bieber, apparently.
No. 2 makes more sense. It's Drake, singing the scientifically perfect song "Hotline Bling."
Third is the Furious 7 tearjerker from Wiz Khalifa: "See You Again" (feat. Charlie Puth). No judgment here. This might be a schmaltzy appeal to nostalgia, but R.I.P. Paul Walker. He seemed nice. I feel a tingle in my nose every time I hear this song and have to say to myself, "Don't cry, Acker! This is The Man trying to commodify the death of a celebrity!"
A female musician doesn't show up on the list until No. 8. Why is this, Portland? Is it possible you aren't the bastion of liberal ideology you present yourself as? Maybe in 2016 resolve to be the change you want to see with your ears.
Of course, that song, No. 8 but No. 1 in many of our hearts, is Adele's "Hello." While there are (anonymous) individuals among us who were born with a gaping hole where a soul should have been, most reasonable people recognize the emotional brilliance of this song.
Here are the top 10:
1. Jack Ü, "Where Are Ü Now" (with Justin Bieber)
2. Drake, "Hotline Bling"
3. Wiz Khalifa, "See You Again" (feat. Charlie Puth)
4. The Weeknd, "Earned It (Fifty Shades of Grey)" from the Fifty Shades of Grey soundtrack
5. Fetty Wap, "Trap Queen"
6. Mark Ronson, "Uptown Funk"
7. Ed Sheeran, "Thinking Out Loud"
8. Adele, "Hello"
9. Walk the Moon, "Shut Up and Dance"
10. Fetty Wap, "679" (feat. Remy Boyz)
If you're curious about the rest of the list, check out this handy playlist, which has the top 100 most popular songs in Portland. This is your true self. Listen, you might learn something.
Willamette Week