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Who dis?
That's Paul McCartney. He was in a band called the Beatles, which was fairly popular in its day, despite having a pretty embarrassing name when you think about it.
Back up, dog. A "band"?
It's what we used to call a group of musicians, before all music was made exclusively by superstar DJs. He played bass, sang and wrote the populist, lovey-dovey stuff. His arch-frenemy John was a little more aggro. One guy wrote twee spirituals, and the other guy wrote a song about an octopus.
Octopuses are p tight. So what happened to this "band"?
They broke up in 1970, and Paul started Wings with his wife. No one liked them at first, then everyone loved them. Then he went solo, did a Bond theme and somehow made bad songs with Stevie Wonder and Michael Jackson. Some will argue he's the best Beatle, but that's mostly because he has the benefit of still being alive. He's great and all, but if John were still around, he wouldn't be caught dead playing that dorky-looking viola bass.
LMAO. What does he do now?
He still makes records only Rolling Stone* cares about and tours doing marathons of hits, but he mostly just kind of hangs around being old and famous, popping in on Saturday Night Live or at random convenience stores in Illinois. No one seems to enjoy being the world's silly grandpa more than Sir Paul. He did collaborate with Kanye West on a couple of singles last year.
Oh, that dude? Those are the worst Kanye songs ever!
Let that be a lesson that even the greatest geniuses run dry eventually. Thing is, if you're a genius long enough, you don't really owe the public anything. In 30 years, we'd be so lucky if Kanye were still on the road, playing "Gold Digger" for the 80 billionth time—the same way we don't really need to hear his song "Hey Jude" ever again, but Paul gives it to us anyway. It's really very nice of him, especially considering that the original Paul McCartney has been dead for 50 years.
Wait, what?
That's a story for another time.
*Rolling Stone is a **magazine that now exists to convince old people that they're still cool.
**A magazine is a blog you can hold in your hand.
SEE IT: Paul McCartney plays Moda Center, 1 N Center Court St., on Friday, April 15. 8 pm. $45-$250. All ages.
Willamette Week