Skip to main contentWays Har Mar Can Sex You
Sonically
"My sound is that of a warm summer breeze finding its way up your skirts and shorts. It will hit the sweet spot that brings you back to your youth at the county fair. Like the first time you rode the Northern Lights and felt your stomach enter that crotch tickling drop-zone, I will caress your ears. A sweet R&B melody delivered by a silky voice that will enter any hole it can. The lyrics are often a double or triple entendre that will leave your mind reeling just long enough for me to cop a feel. Let me cum out of your speakers."
Visually
"My look is that of the guy you were warned about. The guy you cant bring home to mama. You want what you shouldn't have. Every part of me is so wrong that it becomes right. Pure sex. The gut hypnotizes the eye while another bulge just below slips into your subconcsious making your thoughts fill with lust. A bald spot never stopped me. It only made me stronger. See, I can easily infiltrate your group of friends as an unthreatening delightful man, but when the Jaegermeister is poured there is no saving you from my newly revamped teenage mustache. Did I mention my new colonial rat-tail hairdo? See it to believe it. Hot."
On the Internet
"Thought I was just a one-trick pony? Guess again. My talents go beyond just the realm of music. My sense of humor will make you want to celebrate life by creating a new one. That's right. Im talking about straight up pregnancy. While youre laughing at one of my Crappy Holidays sketches (www.youtube.com/crappyholidays) Ill be planting a seed in your brain that will grow into an ivy of sexual thoughts. Whether I'm playing Cupid, a leprechaun, Santa Claus, a clown stripper, a Wu Tang affiliates dad, or straight up seducing myself on Memorial Day, you wont be able to safeguard yourself from my multimedia onslaught. Seriously people, do the research."
Live on Stage at Lebowski Fest
"Come see what its all about by experiencing my live show at the Aladdin Theater on July 22. It is always a fun charged, super energetic love fest when I hit the stage. I'll be touring the west coast with the amazing Lebowski Fest, a celebration of all things Big Lebowski (www.lebowskifest.com). I'll get you going with my amazing, sweaty performance that will make you want to cavort in a corner throughout the main event screening of the cult-classic film just after I leave the stage. If that weren't enough, we'll all be sticking around town for an extra day to celebrate and hit the lanes at Hollywood Bowl. Portland, I will be on hand to fully sex you... for TWO NIGHTS!"
In Stores and Theaters This Fall
"Thought you couldn't handle any more? Sorry. You'll have to save some energy for October. That's when my new album, Dark Touches, hits the shelves at record stores worldwide. 13 new tracks of straight up make-out inducing goodness that spans future electro, hip hop, classic soul, and the Hair soundtrack. Also, I will be gracing the big screen in the Drew Barrymore directed roller derby film Whip It the same month. Followed shortly after by a role in Nic Fackler's Lovely Still alongside Martin Landau and Ellen Burstyn, even the old-timers won't be safe. That's right this is truly a full-on, every-media, cross-generational attack. You've been warned."
SEE IT: Lebowski Fest, starring Har Mar Superstar, is Wednesday, July 22, at the Aladdin Theater. 7:30 pm. $20. Bowling party is Thursday, July 23, at Hollywood Bowl. See lebowskifest.com for details.
WWeek 2015