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Welcome to Haute-N-Ready, in which John Locanthi, Willamette Weekâs trencherman of leisure, tastes the hastily made, modestly priced food of the common man.
Thatâs right: a hot dog with fried chicken in lieu of a bun. The Double Down received much criticism when KFC first offered its new take on a sandwich, it is only fitting that the franchise offer its take on an American specialty that was only recently granted sandwichhood. Thereâs just one hitch: The Double Down Dog is only available in the Philippines.
In fact, many of the more absurd and exotic products launched by American fast food chains is solely for the Asian markets. The Double Down Burger, the Double Down Dogâs older sister, is only available in South Korea. Burger Kingâs famed black cheeseburger exists solely in Japan. Should you find yourself craving Pizza Hutâs Abalone Sauce Cheesy Lava Stuffed Crust pizza, youâd have to fly out to Hong Kong.
But it doesnât have to be this way. Sure, fast food chains already think they have you hooked with their mundane menu. And maybe there isnât a real market for a burger with black cheese or a pizza with shrimp-and-mayo-stuffed crust in the states. This doesnât mean that we canât make them ourselves.
Yesterday, I saw the Double Down Dog in my Twitter feed and I knew only one thing: I wanted that. I was eating one by noon that very day. âWow, how was the Philippines, John?â youâre undoubtedly asking. I wouldnât know. Harnessing the very spirit and ingenuity that made this country great, I went to a KFC/A&W and made my own Double Down Dog. DDIY is the name of the game this week: Double Down It Yourself.
DDIY Double Down Dog (Three piece chicken tenders, coney dog)
Getting a hot dog and wrapping it up in chicken tenders isnât as simple as it sounds. Deep-fried chicken is a perfectly capableâif hot and greasyâsubstitute for sandwich break because it need not fold or bend. A hot dog bun must cradle around the hot dog; chicken tenders do not quite work that way. Youâll find yourself fighting to keep it in place as the cracks and stubbornly refuses to accept its destiny to become a hot dog bun. But you wonât regret it when youâre biting into it. The Colonelâs Original Recipe adds more flavor than a run-of-the-mill bun, as well as a pleasant distraction from the questionable quality of the hot dog itself. (Note: I fully realize that the actual Double Down Dog has some kind of cheese sauce instead of A&Wâs chili and onions but, as with all DDIY projects, this was a personal decision. Chili, onions and fried chicken are a winning combination.)
DDIY Double Down Burger (Double Down, plain hamburger)
South Koreaâs Double Down Burger is a concept so simple, so tempting, that it is a mystery how this has remained overseas. Itâs also much easier to make on your own than its canine sibling. Order a Double Downâwhich is currently revolutionizing the concept of âlimited time offerâ as we speakâand then order a plain hamburger. Free the burger from its bread prison and slide it into your double down, and voila! You have successfully double downâd a burger. It tastes about the same as a regular Double Down, except with more calories, protein and sodium.
And now itâs up to you
You should never allow yourself to be shackled by the constraints of a menu. KFC proved that you donât need bread to make a sandwich. I proved that you donât need to be in the Philippines to have a Double Down Dog or South Korea to have a Double Down Burger.
In fact, many of the more absurd and exotic products launched by American fast food chains is solely for the Asian markets. The Double Down Burger, the Double Down Dogâs older sister, is only available in South Korea. Burger Kingâs famed black cheeseburger exists solely in Japan. Should you find yourself craving Pizza Hutâs Abalone Sauce Cheesy Lava Stuffed Crust pizza, youâd have to fly out to Hong Kong.
But it doesnât have to be this way. Sure, fast food chains already think they have you hooked with their mundane menu. And maybe there isnât a real market for a burger with black cheese or a pizza with shrimp-and-mayo-stuffed crust in the states. This doesnât mean that we canât make them ourselves.
Yesterday, I saw the Double Down Dog in my Twitter feed and I knew only one thing: I wanted that. I was eating one by noon that very day. âWow, how was the Philippines, John?â youâre undoubtedly asking. I wouldnât know. Harnessing the very spirit and ingenuity that made this country great, I went to a KFC/A&W and made my own Double Down Dog. DDIY is the name of the game this week: Double Down It Yourself.
DDIY Double Down Dog (Three piece chicken tenders, coney dog)
Getting a hot dog and wrapping it up in chicken tenders isnât as simple as it sounds. Deep-fried chicken is a perfectly capableâif hot and greasyâsubstitute for sandwich break because it need not fold or bend. A hot dog bun must cradle around the hot dog; chicken tenders do not quite work that way. Youâll find yourself fighting to keep it in place as the cracks and stubbornly refuses to accept its destiny to become a hot dog bun. But you wonât regret it when youâre biting into it. The Colonelâs Original Recipe adds more flavor than a run-of-the-mill bun, as well as a pleasant distraction from the questionable quality of the hot dog itself. (Note: I fully realize that the actual Double Down Dog has some kind of cheese sauce instead of A&Wâs chili and onions but, as with all DDIY projects, this was a personal decision. Chili, onions and fried chicken are a winning combination.)
DDIY Double Down Burger (Double Down, plain hamburger)
South Koreaâs Double Down Burger is a concept so simple, so tempting, that it is a mystery how this has remained overseas. Itâs also much easier to make on your own than its canine sibling. Order a Double Downâwhich is currently revolutionizing the concept of âlimited time offerâ as we speakâand then order a plain hamburger. Free the burger from its bread prison and slide it into your double down, and voila! You have successfully double downâd a burger. It tastes about the same as a regular Double Down, except with more calories, protein and sodium.
And now itâs up to you
You should never allow yourself to be shackled by the constraints of a menu. KFC proved that you donât need bread to make a sandwich. I proved that you donât need to be in the Philippines to have a Double Down Dog or South Korea to have a Double Down Burger.
Willamette Week now wants to see what else can be given the double down treatment. Sandwich a slice of pepperoni pizza between two deep-fried chicken tenders? Fuck yeah, who wouldnât want a Double Down Pizza? Double Down Mac & Cheese, Double Down Collard Greens, Double Down Ice Cream Sandwich⦠the only limit is your imagination, my good readers.
The maker of the best DIY Double Downâjudged according to no specific criteria whatsoever!âwill get a $75 gift card to the bar of your choice, as long as the bar of your choice is Bar Bar/Mississippi Studios.
Take a photo of your own Double Down creation and post it on Twitter or Instagram with the hashtag #DubDubDoubleDown. Be part of the revolution. The world is your oyster and/or chicken strip and/or taco in this day and age of combination fast food joints.
WWeek 2015