Not everyone needs an excuse to blaze it with Granny, but for those whose canna-curious senior family members stand on ceremony, Grandparents’ Day can lend occasion to what might otherwise be an awkward introduction to contemporary cannabis.
Grandparents’ Day is a relatively new Hallmarkian holiday, established in the ‘70s to encourage intergenerational, geriatric respect and support.
It’s mostly celebrated through brunches, poetic greeting cards, and handmade crafts. Without lifetimes of tradition to rely on, I suggest a Grandparents’ Day pivot; let’s celebrate seniors and weed.
Even though cannabis wasn’t considered in the founding of the holiday, those of y’all lucky enough to still have grandparents should consider making this day it’s own canna-holiday, and I’ll tell you why.
Cannabis therapy has been reported for generations to improve quality of life for maturing users. Cannabinoids can fight cancers, protect joints from arthritis, treat chronic conditions and polish moods—with or without intoxicating seniors. And we don’t necessarily have to pass a blunt to Peepaw for them to experience the benefits of cannabis either. There is a wide variety of canna-products suited for all lifestyles, from surfing grandpappys to dowagers in stiff Sunday suits.
Simply put, cannabis could potentially help your grandparents live happier, healthier, and longer lives. And life is already too short. So if you haven’t already, maybe make this the year you finally get high with Nana.
Plain Jane Peppermint CBD Gum
A relatable touchstone of youth is having a granny who can always pinch a mint, lozenge or stick of gum from her cavernous handbag. Canvas totes may have replaced the carpetbags of yore, but Plain Jane’s peppermint CBD gum is still a thoughtful addition to any canna-granny’s pocketbook. Especially if she’s a cool canna-granny.
Each piece of this bubble-packed gum contains 20 mg of isolated CBD and is free of all intoxicating cannabinoids. That said, this gum still delivers a reliably soothing dose of CBD that is appropriately mood lifting, pain relieving, and holistically beneficial. And bonus—this is the one pack of gum Gram is entitled to keep all to herself.
Get it from: plainjane.com
Barbari Hemp-Infused Tea
Barbari’s botanical smoking blends were already pulling double duty as serviceable herbal teas— in addition to prime spliff fodder—so it’s logical that its hemp-infused teas are just as sippable.
Barbari’s tea blends are available in three distinct varieties: an uplifting green tea that features lemon ginseng and jasmine; a bright, floral mélange of hibiscus and schisandra; and a buzzy, muddy chai spiked with functional lion’s mane mushrooms. For grandparents of the domestic or adventurous variety, these teas deliver mild effects via consciously curated botanical tableaus that can both brighten and soothe, depending on the drinker’s mood.
Get it from: barbarishop.com
Rebel Roots Farms Funny Honey
If the abundance of novelty cannabis products becomes just too overwhelming, opt for a simple, straightforward product like Rebel Roots Farms Funny Honey. Despite its tongue-in-cheek name, this easy-to-use edible is precisely as versatile as the honey already crystallizing in your meemaw’s pantry.
While this honey is more of a commodity than the honey bear on the shelf, grandparents can spread this on warm toast, use it to sweeten a cup of tea, or just drizzle it directly on the tongue when the day requires extra sweetness—just as they would with an average, grocery store honey. A bit of advice to the newly minted pothead seniors who indulge in edibles such as funny honey: Invest in a stash box, lest your inlaws try to bake with your stockpile of medicated pantry items.
Get it from: Cured Green, 3715 N Lombard St., Suite B, 503-206-5430, curedgreen.com.
SDK x Estaweeda Granola
If you really want to impress the seniors in your life with how far contemporary cannabis has come, serve them a brunch parfait made with SDK and Estaweeda’s medicated granola. Known for their ubiquitous line of medicated cookies, SDK is a brand familiar to edible enthusiasts statewide, and its foray into granola making is exactly as satisfying as its popular baked goods.
For families still establishing their Grandparents’ Day traditions, medicated brunch is a surefire crowd-pleaser, and this straightforward granola is a low-stakes edible to begin a canna-journey with. If you’re extra fancy with a backyard plant or two of your own, garnish your parfaits with little fan leaves for an Instagram moment worthy of the grid.
Get it from: Green Muse, 5515 NE 16th Ave., 971-420-4917, gogreenmuse.com.
Laurie + MaryJane Almond Cake Bites
Grandparents who nurse a sweet tooth for classic bakery-window goods will appreciate the authentic almondine chew of Laurie + MaryJane’s cake bites. Equal parts bonbon and biscuit, these cookie hybrids pack a potent dose of THC, encouraging even the established pothead seniors among us to share them with a friend. And if your grandparents prefer chocolate, Laurie + MaryJane’s edibles line features a number of commensurate, fudgy edibles that deliver the brand’s same trademark patisserie integrity.
Pro tip: Level this gift up by bundling it with a box of Barbari’s hemp-infused tea and Rebel Roots honey so the oldsters can have a proper high tea.
Get it from: Weed Land, 4027 N Interstate Ave., 541-904-0000.
Chompd Edibles Dark Cherry Sea Salt Bar
My grandmother, rest her ever-loving soul, was hopelessly devoted to cherry cordials, the sloppy chocolate bonbons that ejaculated pink cream when bitten before birthing an entire acid red cherry into the mouth of the snacker. Lovely concept, gruesome execution. Chompd Edibles has reimagined this unnecessarily messy but inarguably classic pairing of dark chocolate and ripe cherry in a manageably munchable chocolate bar that has all the energy of cherry cordial without the expected chaotic splatter.
Were she alive today, I would be delivering my grandmother this bar on a silver platter, and I’m relatively sure she would approve (given her suit wasn’t too stiff).
Get it from: Doctor’s Orders, 3424 NE 82nd Ave., 971-254-4731, doctorsordersdeals.com.