Headout: What's Your Ride?

Follow our Pedalpalooza 2012 decision tree, then hop on your bike.

By KIMBERLY HURSH

 Click on the image below for a larger version!

RIDE: 

June 14: Fake Mustaches 
Wear a fake mustache and ride a bike. Feel at one with the city of Portland. 
Meet at the bottom of the aerial tram, SW Moody and Gibbs. 6-7 pm. 

June 16: World Naked Nighttime Bike Ride
Go as "bare as you dare" in front of thousands of people. 
SE Salmon St and Water Ave. 9 pm for disrobing and body painting, ride departs at 10 pm.  

June 16: Sunny Naked Ride
A highly enjoyable way to vanish tan lines. 
Coe Circle, 3900 NE Glisan St. 1-3:30 pm. 

June 16: Jeff and Jodi's North Portland Bike Move 
Jeff and Jodi are moving into their new house. They lack friends with trailers, so they're casting a wider net. As enticement entrapment bait, they'll be serving Voodoo doughnuts, organic fruit and coffee in their apartment beforehand.
N. Vancouver and Killingsworth. 10:30 am.  

June 17: Ice Cream Ride 
Shoppe hop from one Portland creamery to the next on this 6-10 mile ride. Maybe, just maybe, you'll make up the calories by pushing pedal. 
RSVP to sarahmmoody@gmail.com for location. 1 pm. 

June 17: Zombie Apocalypse
Pick up tips on how to survive the impending apocalypse from survivors. Come as either a zombie or a survivor.
TBA. 10:30 am-noon. 

June 19: Mocktails off of the I-5 bridge
Commuting Washingtonians get crazy with their mocktails and reflective items. 
Vancouver side of the I-5 bridge west side path, SE Columbia Way and Columbia Street. 3 pm-6 pm. 

June 21: Skirts and Merkins
A local merkin-maker will provide 25 of the saucy garments as gifts before the start of the ride, so get there early. 
Laurelhurst Park, 3700 SE Ankeny St. 5:30-7 pm.  

June 29: Team Prince
Wear purple. Hope it doesn't rain. 
Seawallcrest Park, SE 31st Ave & Market St. 7:30 pm. 

June 29: Team Bowie
This ride makes frequent dance stops. Use caution, and hair spray. 
SE 50th Ave and Division St. Meet at 7:30 pm, roll at 8.  


Headout Picks

THURSDAY JUNE 14

NICK KROLL
[COMEDY] On FX’s The League, the comic plays television’s most diabolical suburban genius: Rodney Ruxin, a Chicago-area lawyer who resembles, in his words, “a Nazi propaganda cartoon of a Jew,” and whose only concern—outside of keeping his disproportionately hot wife—is dominating his friends in their fantasy football league. He’s hilarious just eating crackers and jelly. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., (888) 643-8669. 8 pm Thursday, June 14; 7:30 pm and 10 pm Friday-Saturday, June 15-16. $20-$25. 
BEER WEEK
[BEER] A few sudsy days left of liver-pickling events, Portland Beer Week encompasses several marquee events, plus seminars, dinners, special releases and the annual Brewers Summer Games. See other listings for more details or visit pdxbeerweek.com. Various times through June 17. Prices vary. 21+.

FRIDAY JUNE 15

AIR GUITAR CHAMPIONSHIPS
Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St. 9 pm. $12 advance, $15 at door. 21+.
QUIET MUSIC FESTIVAL
[MUSIC] Aging music fans with creeping tinnitus, rejoice! Disjecta has, for the second year, built a lineup of mostly local acts playing unamplified music in an intimate setting. It begins tonight with notable sets from lauded experimental act Grouper and Quasi frontman Sam Coomes. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave. 8 pm Friday-Saturday, June 15-16. $8 and $15 (two days) advance, $10 and $18 (two days) at door. All ages.

SATURDAY JUNE 16

RAILROAD IN THE GARDEN
[RIDIN’ THE RAILS] Members of the Rose City Garden Railroad Society throw open their boxcars to the public for one day only. For a “whimsical treat,” stop by the Siletz Bay Railway. Or, take in “1,000 feet of total trackage” at the home of President and Chief Operating Officer Bill Dippert. Various locations, rcgrs.com/tour.html. 10 am. $10 per vehicle.
SAUL STEINBERG
[CARTOONS] Highlighting the humor, wit and snarky superiority of classic American journalism, Yale Union will open its summer 2012 exhibition: Steinberg, Saul. The New Yorker. New York, 1945-2000. (Harold, William, Robert, Tina, David, Eds.). The exhibit spotlights five decades of Steinberg’s work in The New Yorker, including 200 of his 1,000-plus published contributions. Yale Union (YU), 800 SE 10th Ave., 236-7996. Noon-8 pm Thursdays-Saturdays, June 16-Aug. 10. Free.

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