Some people don't need to smoke bowls to get through life. They just spring up in the morning and jump enthusiastically into the mundane business of the day. Others, like me, can't cry at a movie or make it through a job interview without taking a few bong hits. But whether you are a weekend warrior or a "medical user" like me, every once in a while it's nice to smoke until you forget your mother's maiden name, then hop on a midnight train going anywhere. We have other suggestions, too. Lucky for you, this is a city with many attractions for the stoned-out-of-their-gourds set. Set your sights on adventure!
The quintessential Portland thing to do is ride a bike out to a little patch of grass, smoke weed and stare down at some factories. We are truly the center of the cultural universe.
It takes deep focus to guide the floating wobbler to its next tree base. Move it with your mind.
So you're in this bar in the sky, and a dude is playing Elton John songs on the piano, and there are hawks flying around outside, and the kung pao calamari is the best thing in the world.
Maybe build some oscillators. Maybe repurpose a Speak & Spell. No musical talent necessary—embrace the chaos!
And think way too hard about the dancers' lives.
The perfect antidote to thinking Portland is a town full of artists.
Nervous about performing that new noise composition you wrote while catatonically stoned? Nothing a little smoked courage can't fix.
A 100-acre park with a 200-acre new-car lot just through the trees. There may be no better place to contemplate the complex relationship between man and nature...after getting high as hell.
It's a vacuum cleaner museum.
Packy has lived at this zoo for 50 years. Packy pretty much just throws straw on himself all day. Is your life a little too much like Packy's? Think about it.
It's kind of like building a rainbow with magic wands.
And hate yourself in the morning.
Sip a coffee and watch a bunch of dogs go insane in the next room. Wouldn't it be weird if instead of shaking hands, we sniffed each other's butts?
It's kind of like a real-life
The fact that it's kind of a half-assed, alien-themed dive bar—with a lot of run-down regulars—makes it all the more fascinating.
And freak out over all the creepy marionettes staring at you. They are everywhere!
Trying to decide between
. Eventually leave with
And pretend you're on vacation. The
lobby is particularly nice.
Dude, am I high, or are the tables moving?
. Also, they have chili dogs!
What's that guy up to these days?
Who are all these people? Where did they come from?
scores! Get it?