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You've got lots of choices when it comes to actiony spy movies these days. You've got your Jameses Bond, your Jasons Bourne, your Kingsmen, and and and. So why come back to Mission: Impossible, the never-ending series that is kinda-sorta related to a '60s TV show? What does the fifth installment, Mission: Impossible: Rogue Nation, have that's different, besides an extra colon? A few things.
1. Masks: One of the most identifiable moments in any M:I movie is when a character pulls at the side of his face and you realize he is actually a completely different character wearing an incredibly convincing rubber mask. Even though you know it's going to happen, Rogue Nation still got me every time. Plus, this time we get a brief glimpse of the mask-making process—a kind of 3-D printer that involves lasers shooting at a vat of facelike goo. That's awesome.
2. Gadgets: Sure, James Bond had his Walther P99 pistol-equipped surfboard. But Mission: Impossible really uses cool spy gadgets to perfection. They're critical to the action, but the movie never makes a huge deal out of them, the way your coolest friends never realize they're being cool. Like the disc you put over a combination dial that cracks the lock automatically. Or the oxygen monitor that displays readings on your sleeve so you can watch your air running out while you're drowning. Or the sniper rifle built into a bassoon for all your opera-hall assassination needs.
3. Questionable loyalty: Lots of spy stories make you second-guess the characters' allegiance, but this is so integral to every M:I I wouldn't be surprised to see the camera pull back to show director Christopher McQuarrie looking the audience in the eye and saying, "James Bond is better."
4. Tom. Fucking. Cruise: Look, it's hard to love him unabashedly, because he's crazy and he mind-controlled Katie Holmes and all that. But even aging, he still looks amazing in the shirtless-torture scene. I kinda wanted to see him tortured at least one more time—that's how good the Cruise Missile looks. And Tom's aging actually plays well in the movie without becoming a huge deal. Instead of discussing his age and whether it's a problem at every punch or fall or crash (like that garbage fire of a movie The Expendables does ad nauseam), he just requires a bit of recovery time. He sighs as if he's about to say, "I'm getting too old for this shit." Then he jumps right back up and into the shit—it's a great choice.
The only thing missing (besides a few more colons to make it look like an SAT question) is the mushy, romancy stuff. Cruising Altitude's main enemy (or friend? or frenemy? or enemend?) is the Bond girlesque Ilsa (Rebecca Ferguson). The two clearly have sexual chemistry, but because of this weird thing where Tom got married in the third movie but his wife is never around, the most they ever do is hug. Sure, it's a great hug, but people who like their action movies to feature somebody getting some action won't be satisfied.
And while the Cruise Ship barely gets to 0th base with his love interest, his bromances don't blossom either. The godlike hacker on the team (Ving Rhames) and Cruise's comic-relief buddy Simon Pegg (who can take the gravitas away just by standing there with his goatee) say they're acting out of friendship. But they really act more like Cruise is their remotely interesting co-worker, like maybe they chat for a few minutes at work parties.
But that's another appeal of the Mission: Impossible franchise. It's not sappy. It's a tight action movie focused on talented people working together for the good (or harm? You have no idea!) of the world.
SEE IT: Mission: Impossible: Rogue Nation is rated PG-13. It opens Friday at most Portland-area theaters. Grade A-
WWeek 2015