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We here at Cool Stuff are big fans of both "self massage" and giving romantic partners "massages" with "personal massagers". However, these devices can be quite pricey, and when you need a "massage" in this economy, a good cheap one will do most just fine.
Get a cordless, rechargable Hitachi Magic Wand personal massager plus 8oz of lube for $100
Let's drop the pretension here—A hundred bucks gets you a Hitachi Magic Wand cordless vibrator and a bottle of lube. I'm no expert on vibrators, but the Hitachi Magic Wand is seen as something like the industry standard, which is why it's been around for a good 30 years now, and from what I've heard, it's supposed to be extremely good. Vibators can run well into the several hundred dollar price range, so in my limited experience, this seems like a stellar deal for you or early Valentine's Day gift for your girlfriend/wife/partner.
Take $2 off (with coupon) a tub of Tide Pods and get 81 loads of laundry at less than $0.25/load
Of course, the first meme of 2018 is teens eating laundry detergent, because everything is extremely stupid and only going to get dumber this year. Anyway, just buy some cheap detergent and please don't eat it, even if you're just going "to do it for the content".
Get Amazon's #1 selling teapot (with built in infuser!) for $15
As someone who has been recovering from the flu, I've recently been drinking about three times as much tea as I normally do. A good teapot is surprisingly hard to find, let alone a cool clear one with a built-in infuser that lets you brew loose leaf without hassle. This is probably why this 27 oz pot from Hiware is Amazon's number one teapot, and it just so happens to be about $11 cheaper than it ususally is today.
(Cool Stuff is a new feature at Willamette Week where we feature product reviews, roundups, sales and other commerce and shopping-oriented content. All Cool Stuff reviews are editorially independent, meaning we provide honest reviews and aren't paid by the brands we write about. If you do choose to purchase something after following one of our links, Willamette Week may receive a commission, which helps fund our journalism.)