Things I’m Going To Do Instead of Listening to That Google Guy

However, instead of just ignoring him, some professor at Portland State read that rotten word salad and thought that the horse shit contained within was a discussion worth having in front of an audience on a perfectly good Saturday evening.

Pictured: Basic Aggrieved Dude #6839352
By Crystal Contreras

Welcome back to Lady Things. This week I'm going to tell you about some things this lady is going to do instead of listening to some guys with bad opinions.

You might remember last August when people got really mad at Google after Motherboard broke a story about a document that had been circulating in the company for some time. The 10-page memo was critical of Google's diversity efforts and claimed, amongst many things, that the company was actually reinforcing race and gender biases through things like mentorship programs, and painted conservatives as a scared, shivering minority within the corporate behemoth.

This name of the document's author really isn't that important because there's nothing remarkable or groundbreaking about his views. He might as well be called Basic Aggrieved Dude #6839352. However, instead of just ignoring him, some professor at Portland State read that rotten word salad and thought that the horse shit contained within was a discussion worth having in front of an audience on a perfectly good Saturday evening. Now, I could not think of a more devastating way to waste part of a weekend than listening to these two collections of bones and organs assembled into humans talk about why it's bad to provide support and resources for marginalized groups, so here's a list of things I'm going to do instead.

1. Have a cup of tea in the dining room and look at the trees outside for twenty minutes.
2. Organize my coupons. Debate on whether it's worth it to spend $25 at a fancy co-op just to save $5.
3. Laugh joyously.
4. Twirl around my living room. I usually do this to music.
5. Water my one plant.
6. Sit on a mat stretching and looking at my phone. Later tweet that I "did over an hour of yoga."
7. Eat a blood orange. They're one of my favorite fruits and the season is well underway. I'm gonna enjoy them while they're here.
8. Scroll through movies on Hulu, get frustrated and put Mysteries at the Museum on for the rest of the night.
9. Feel kinda bad that I spent so much time fucking around, donate to a friend's Gofundme to alleviate the guilt.

That's about it. Sounds like a lovely evening, if you ask me. And if for some reason you're required to be there because it's your job or you're there for a school assignment, just know that I'm twirling extra hard for you. Stay strong.
That's all, thanks for stopping by this week. Oh yeah, and stop listening to those guys. Really.

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