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Breaking: Baby Boomer Gets High Because It's Legal, Still Manages to Break the Law

Oh the sweet innocence of age.

Today on Vox, there's a first person story from Oregon baby boomer and essayist Sue Sanders about her experience of getting high after the legalization of recreational cannabis on Oct. 1.

Sanders writes:

In some ways, this essay appears to be Sanders' attempt at her Maureen Dowd in A Denver Hotel Moment, though certain aspects of her naivete feel a bit disingenuous.

First, there is her decision not to smoke pot lest her innocent daughter smell it, as if there is no such place as outside and no time when a teenager might be gone from the the house.

Also, if she was so concerned about her daughter detecting pot smoke in the privacy of her own home ("Moooooommmmmm!"), how does she think her daughter is going to feel reading about her parents eating edibles on the internet ("OH MY GOD MOM I AM NEVER SPEAKING TO YOU AGAIN!")?

Then there is the question of her and her husband's failure to read.

After they give up on the smoking, the Sanderses decide to get edibles. Then they eat way too much. But here's the rub: All edibles in Washington have labeling that clearly states how much you should eat and how long it takes to kick in. Why would a rule-following mother who is nervous about using weed so blatantly disregard the instructions? Especially in our post-Maureen-Dowd-in-Denver world?

But by far the most ridiculous part of Sanders' essay is when she, a law-abiding citizen who is only ingesting marijuana because it's legal now in Oregon and therefore she's basically doing this as a civic duty, drives to Washington to get edibles because they are still illegal to purchase in Oregon without a medical-marijuana card.

Oh Sue Sanders. We all do it; someone I know very, very personally did it like two weeks ago. Transporting weed across the Columbia River is not shameful or surprising or inherently bad. It is, however, super illegal.

In their expensive education campaign, "Educate Before You Recreate," Oregon state officials couldn't be more clear about whether or not it's legal to buy edibles in Washington and bring them home to Oregon. It's not.

The state bureaucrats explain: "You can't buy marijuana in another state and bring it into Oregon, nor can you take it from Oregon across state lines. That includes to and from Washington. Taking marijuana across state lines is a federal offense."

Sure, no one is really getting in trouble for this, but still: Federal. Crime.

So Sue Sanders, who only took the drugs because she's a boomer and she cares about her state and the future and trying new things and who only does things the correct way and didn't even like it that much, accidentally copped to committing a federal crime on the internet today.

Oh well. It may not have been the Weather Underground, but I bet her daughter's going to think she's so cool now.