Skip to main content
On Friday, Jan. 20, Donald Trump will be sworn in as our nation's 45th president.
If this doesn't make you angry…
Get your fellow Trump supporters together for celebratory shots and fist bumps at Fifth Avenue Lounge, where they will celebrate the day "regardless of political affiliation," which sure makes it sound like a pro-Trump safe space. Fifth Avenue Lounge, 125 NW 5th Ave., fifthavenuelounge.com. 9 pm. 21+.
If this makes you angry, but you're not an activist, and you'd rather eat away your sadness…
Who needs Obamacare when you can self-medicate with wine and chocolate? Head to the Oregon Convention Center for ChocolateFest, which, sadly, is not in any way associated with R. Kelly. Oregon Convention Center, 777 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 503-235-7575, chocolatefest.org. 4-9 pm. $15. 21+. Saturday (11 am-6 pm) and Sunday (11 am-5 pm), Jan. 21-22, all ages.
If this makes you angry, but you're not an activist, and you'd rather drink away your sadness…
This is a big day for Russia, which finally conquered its old Cold War foe. Grab a bar stool at Imperial Bottle Shop & Taproom and enjoy a plethora of Russian imperial stouts and a sampling of beers from California's Russian River Brewing. Toast the good health of Premier Trump and his boss, Tsar Putin! Imperial Bottle Shop & Taproom, 3090 SE Division St., 971-302-6899, imperialbottleshop.com. 5-9 pm. 21+.
If this makes you angry, but you're not an activist, and you'd rather laugh away your sadness…
Politics aren't necessarily his bag, but we'd expect Louis C.K. to have a few side-splitting takes on the inherent ineptitude of baffled, middle-aged white males. Theater of the Clouds at Moda Center, 1 N Center Court St., 503-235-8771, rosequarter.com. 8 pm. $25-$50. All ages. Also Thursday and Saturday, Jan. 19 and 21.
If this makes you angry, and you're a woke AF Portland State University student…
Why not take part in some good old-fashioned campus activism by joining in the national Inauguration Day student walkout? You were probably going to skip your Friday classes anyway, so you might as well do it with purpose! Smith Memorial Student Union, 1825 SW Broadway. Noon.
If this makes you angry, and you're woke AF, and not a PSU student but still trying to fuck shit up…
If you'd rather mosh…
Head to the High Water Mark for an evening of ear-splitting activism courtesy of Long Knife, Marriage and Cancer, Alien Boy and more. Proceeds go to Planned Parenthood and the ACLU. High Water Mark Lounge, 6800 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 503-286-5613, highwatermarklounge.com. 7 pm. $8. 21+.
If you'd rather march and are planning on burning a flag or two…
Anarcho types are pledging to burn some Chinese-made American flags, an act Trump has suggested may be grounds for stripping them of citizenship. Might as well get that over with now. Don't expect your pinko aggression to go unchecked, however—the alt-right has more than a few calls to arms on Facebook to protest your protesting, so consider yourself warned. We might get Civil War II popped off before ol' Orangey takes his hand off the Bible! Southwest corner of Pioneer Courthouse Square, 701 SW 6th Ave. 3:20 pm.
If you'd rather march and are not planning on burning a flag or two…
Aspiring to move on from the window-smashing debacle that unfolded in the days after the election, Direct Action Alliance is encouraging attendees to stick with the nonviolence plan and hope that sends a strong enough message. Pioneer Courthouse Square, 701 SW 6th Ave., directactionalliance.org/j20. 3:30-6 pm.
If this makes you angry, and you're woke AF, but not trying to fuck any shit up…
And if Trump's business dealings scare you the most…
Participate in a lively conversation about the implications of runaway capitalism in Trump's America, organized by the socialist Jacobin Reading Group and featuring a guest appearance from No Logo author Naomi Klein. Social Justice Action Center, 400 SE 12th Ave., 971-279-7740, sjacportland.wordpress.com. 7:30-11 pm. Donations encouraged.
And if Trump's hatemongering scares you the most…
It's our jobs as Americans to stop hate when we encounter it, and Resolutions Northwest is providing the perfect opportunity to arm oneself with the skills in dialogue and conflict resolution needed to keep the Klan from recruiting folks at your neighborhood bar. Resolutions Northwest, 2538 NE Broadway, Suite A, 503-595-4890, resolutionsnorthwest.org. 10 am-noon, 1-3 pm. Free.