In case you've been wintering in an underground bunker lit by full-spectrum lights and so haven't seen or heard the sky recently: It's raining really, really hard.
Usually, we would say, "Grab an umbrella and put on some boots and you'll be fine!" But not today. Today you need a canoe and a dry bag to get to work. The National Weather Service has issued a flood warning in Portland, and around town, storm drains are clogging and sewers are overflowing. The Twitter video tells a wet tale of woe:
— Reed Andrews (@ReedKATU) Dec. 7, 2015
There's a pretty good collection of Instagrams of the damp carnage over at Banjo, if you're looking to spend your day gazing at overflowing streets. Otherwise, pack an extra pair of socks and take the bus to work, because as the National Weather Service says:
Most flood deaths occur in automobiles. Never drive your vehicle into areas where the water covers the roadway. Flood waters are usually deeper than they appear. Just one foot of flowing water is powerful enough to sweep vehicles off the road. When encountering flooded roads make the smart choice, turn around, don’t drown.
Watch out for the rivers of poop!