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When one thinks of classic Hollywood, certain images immediately leap to mind. A brooding Marlon Brando in a tight T-shirt, cigarette perched between his fingers. Dustin Hoffman being seduced by Anne Bancroft's nylon-sheathed gams. John Wayne in a cowboy hat, looking for an Injun to punch in the mouth. And, of course, Lloyd Bridges convincing a mulleted Tom Hanks to sacrifice himself to a volcano. Like the newly opened Barlow downtown, Iconic Lounge (2226 NE Broadway, 946-1621, iconiclounge.com) aims to evoke Old World class via "iconic" American cinema. Framed portraits of legendary actors occupy the walls. Drink names include the "Liz Taylor" (Irish whiskey with lemon and blackberry) and the "Hayworth," which, confusingly, uses Gosling's Black Rum. Black-and-white movies play on a screen above the horseshoe bar. One problem, though: Joe Versus the Volcano wasn't filmed in the 1950s. An Instagram filter doesn't make you Ansel Adams, decolorizing a half-forgotten '90s comedy won't turn it into a classic, and using The Great Gatsby font on the marquee won't make your cocktail lounge into F. Scott Fitzgerald's private speakeasy. The half-stepping on the theme extends to the soundtrack: John Wayne didn't listen to Grizzly Bear, he killed and ate them. Iconic seems designed to fill a niche in Irvington's humble bar scene as a sophisticated date spot, and it's certainly a sleek addition to a stretch of Broadway whose comparable options are limited to Mason jar-drunk Swift Lounge and kitschy tiki joint Hale Pele. But the sense of contrivance is overwhelming. The lesson to be taken from Iconic's video projector: There's a fine line between black-and-white and colorless.
WWeek 2015