Skip to main contentEver watch a movie and get the strange feeling that in some way you've seen this thing before? Don't worry, it's not that you're going crazy--although you may be going crazy. It's just that Hollywood has a tendency to recycle stories and characters, and hope that audiences will be too stupid to notice. As it is, most people didn't notice that Master and Commander was Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, only without Khan and set in the early 19th century.
But you'd have to be a complete moron not to see that the latest example of Hollywood repackaging something old, and acting like it's completely original, is The Last Samurai. The first time around, this was a solidly entertaining film called Dances With Wolves. Now it's... well... Dances With Wolves II: The Japanese Connection, replacing Native Americans with samurai. And that's not to say The Last Samurai is a bad film, because it's actually kinda, sorta OK--for being a total rip-off. Here's how it compares to Dances With Wolves.
THE LAST SAMURAI
DANCES WITH WOLVES
THE HERO
Nathan Algren (Tom Cruise), a disillusioned American soldier in the 1870s who goes to Japan to train the emperor's soldiers in Western warfare. Algren becomes interested in the ways of the samurai and eventually renounces the ways of his fellow round-eye barbarians to become a samurai himself.
John Dunbar (Kevin Costner), a disillusioned American soldier in the 1870s who requests a posting on the American frontier. Dunbar becomes interested in the ways of the Lakota Sioux and eventually renounces the ways of his fellow white-skin devils to become an adopted member of the tribe.
THE MISUNDERSTOOD VILLAIN
Katsumoto (Ken Watanabe), the charismatic leader of an army of samurai warriors, who sees in Algren a kindred spirit. Slowly, the two men grow to respect each other, becoming best friends.
Kicking Bird (Graham Greene), the charismatic medicine man of the Lakota tribe, who sees in Dunbar a kindred spirit. Slowly, the two men grow to respect each other, becoming best friends.
THE REAL VILLAIN
Greedy Japanese capitalists, unduly influenced by the white man.
The white man.
THE PIVOTAL MOMENT
Algren helps to defend the samurai village from a deadly attack by ninjas. Fighting side-by-side with the samurai, Algren hears his true calling: "Being a white guy sucks. But being a samurai kicks ass!"
Dunbar helps to defend the Lakota village from a deadly attack by Pawnee warriors. Fighting side-by-side with his redskin brethren, Dunbar hears his true calling: "Being a white guy sucks. But being a Lakota warrior kicks ass!"
THE LOVE INTEREST
Taka (Koyuki), the beautiful widow of a samurai slain by Algren, who is first repulsed by the white man, but comes to find him strangely sexy.
Stands with a Fist (Mary McDonnell), the beautiful widow of a Lakota warrior, who is first terrified of the white man, but comes to find him strangely sexy.
THE FINAL ANALYSIS
Tom Cruise seems miscast, but if you're going to make a movie about a white guy who helps the misguided Japanese rediscover what's important to them as a culture, you couldn't ask for more.
After centuries of genocide and mistreatment of Native Americans, white people needed someone to channel all their pent-up guilt. Who better than Kevin Costner, the epitome of the white guy, to help palefaces atone for their sins?
Rated R
Opens Friday, Dec. 5
WWeek 2015