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Jon Katz approached the stage with little fanfare. A cane, necessary since his 1996 multiple sclerosis diagnosis, lent a quiet dignity to the beloved comedian.
His best standup lines:
"I can't believe we're still fighting for a woman's right to choose in 2015...It's all about when life begins, and for me, it's that second cup of coffee."
"I saw a woman with two seeing dogs, and I asked her, why? She said, 'One is for reading.'"
"I've been married to my wife for 33 years. The secret is, we don't take each other for granted. I've asked my wife every morning for 33 years how she takes her coffee."
Katz ended his set by walking to the middle of the stage and taking a seat in an armchair. And with that, his receptionist Laura's voice announced the arrival of his first patient, Andy Kindler.
Kindler: I have to wear a band [Bridgetown's neon wristband] now.
Katz: Why is that?
Kindler: Well, I think they're starting again with the Jews.
Comedian Ron Lynch and Katz pondered therapy, Lynch talking through a voice modifier and often interrupting the set to converse with his other personalities.
Katz: âMy first therapistâIâm certainly not endorsing thisâevery week sheâd say to me, âNow what is it?â
With Janeane Garofalo, the session was all AARP, Khmer Rouge and Swiffer dusting.
"[Febreze is] the troika of cleaning without really cleaning. It's really just a metaphor for my problems."
Garofalo: "The key to getting compliments when you're older? Look horrible when you're young."
Katz: "Do you have a history of longevity in your family?"
Garofalo: "Yes and no. My mother died at 42, but my father's 80, so...split the diff?"
Brendon Small was the only guest who (in my recollection, and according to a cursory flip through Wikipedia) never appeared on the animated show.
âI want to make the first eco-friendly mumblecore film, so Iâm going to shoot the whole thing in the reverse camera of my Prius. Itâs about a young couple from Portland. Theyâre slowly being run over through the whole film.â
"People ask me what the difference is between marriage and dating. Before I was married, I didn't find myself hiding my money in overseas accounts."
[About having a dog] "It's like living with a little miniature Keith Moon. I have a game I play when I come home. It's called, 'I guess I don't have that anymore.'"
Dana Gould was Katz's last client before he called it a day.
"It was only six weeks ago we all just thought he [Bruce Jenner] was creepy! He looked like he was underwater."
[About dick picks] "It's the equivalent of, if your girlfriend sent you a photo of her feelings."
"My birthday is exactly nine months and two days after the Kennedy assassination. That's all you need to know about how my father processes grief."
Katzâs reply ended the show: âIf you had the chance to ask Lee Harvey Oswald one question, what would it be? I would ask him if he remembered where he was the day Kennedy was shot.â
WWeek 2015