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MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN: The Space Room, the Hawthorne Boulevard Stumble Zone's recently remodeled shrine to drunken retro-futurism, is giving away a wedding at the bar, including a licensed officiate, photography, invitations and free appetizers for up to 50 guests, to the couple who write the best 200-word essay on why they want a space-themed wedding. Even at recession wedding prices, this deal's probably worth $5,000. The deadline to enter is Sunday, Nov. 15.

DOUBLE DOG DARE: Buy a regular red hot or Little Leaguer dog at Wayne's Chicago Red Hots any Tuesday and get a second one free. That's twice the neon green relish for your money! 3901 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 750-6497,

THERE'S THE RUB: Massage therapist Miwa McRee (LMT #5208) is offering half-off 30- and 60-minute sessions to new customers through the end of November. Timeless Touch, 2928 SE Hawthorne Blvd., Suite 108, 260-0288. The offer is limited to 75 responses.

CHEAP CRITTERS: Admission to the Oregon Zoo is $2 this Tuesday, Nov. 10, and the first Tuesday of every month. Don't worry—the penguins won't know you're a cheapskate. 4001 SW Canyon Road,

THE VOICE: Mattress, the strange crooner whose voice, according to WW's Michael Mannheimer, "falls somewhere between the conversational speech of an undertaker and a preserved '50s lounge singer unfrozen during the apocalypse," is in residency this month at Berbati's, playing a free show with a different band every Wednesday. Tonight it's Orca Team. 19 SW 2nd Ave., 226-2122, 10 pm Wednesday, Nov. 4. Free. 21+.

BETTER THAN BEING THERE: So, all the Blazers games you wanted to attend this year are sold out. So what? Nepo42 has a big-ass screen and offers 25-cent hot wings during games. And $1 beer specials every day. And something called "pork wings." 5403 NE 42nd Ave., 288-8080,