118 NE 28th Ave., 235-2794, 9-2 am daily.

Don't let the address fool you: This beloved Kerns watering hole has the heart and soul of Southeast. Don't try to explain Beulahland. Just bait your friend with a round of free drinks and consider it a sound investment in your future. Between the service industry-appeasing stiffness of the wells, the $2 cans of Old German, and the ramshackle charm that's divey when it matters most, you can bet your $8 bar tab your friend will return the favor. Think of it as the Swiss Army knife of a Burnside bar crawl. In a bar scene that thrives on exploiting niches and pushing $12 cocktails, there's comfort in knowing there's still a home for people that want nothing more than a cheap drink and a bullshit-free place to enjoy it in. PETE COTTELL.

Happy Hour: 4-7 pm daily. $3 wells, $4 martinis, $3.50 micro pints, $2 PBRs, $1 Old German cans.
Entertainment: Blazers and Timbers games, DJs, video karaoke Sundays.