Youth

I spent the bulk of Youth feeling like I must be missing an important metaphor, or 20, because I'm too young. Or American. Or just dumb.

Or it's possible the emperor is just buck naked, despite being a well-respected filmmaker working with an all-star cast.

That wouldn't surprise me, because Italian filmmaker and Oscar-winner Paolo Sorrentino's film is full of nudity. Some is fun, like when old-guy best friends Michael Caine and Harvey Keitel are sitting in a pool and Miss Universe joins them. But most of it feels incidental and almost rude, as if the camera crew kept showing up while minor characters were changing and just started shooting.

This could be artistically important—a visual differentiator between the old and young, fake and real. Or maybe Italians just like butts in films.

As Caine and Keitel (Caintel) pal around a five-star resort in the Swiss Alps, the stunning setting turns out to be a double-edged sword. In swordplay, that would actually be useful, unless one blade is on the handle. So, let's assume we mean "a sword with a blade on the handle for some reason." Edge No. 1: It's beautiful. Every frame of the movie looks like an indie-rock album cover, with amazing shots of steaming pools, fields of Swiss cows and outdoor concerts on a rotating stage. Edge No. 2 (the one that cuts you): It feels like a prison. There's nothing to do but sit around in your album cover and talk and talk.

Caintel sit around talking about the past and how much they piss, which doesn't sound cute or important, even from Michael Caine. Then they make profound pronouncements: "You say emotions don't matter. Emotions are all we have." Then a naked person or a cow walks by, and it might mean something.

A lot of stuff might—like, why does Caine's daughter make out with the ugly mountaineer? Why is Paul Dano dressed like Hitler? After a masseuse gives Caine a hand job, why do we watch her play Dance Dance Revolution, like, eight times? It really looks like I can see the emperor's dick. But I'm probably just dumb.

Criitc's Grade: C

see it: Youth is rated PG-13. It opens Friday at most Portland-area theaters.

Willamette Week