I Got Drunk While Playing the Presidential Debate Drinking Game Last Night

I cant waite u ntil htis election is over.

Okayae so IA Am wrihting this still drunk righht now." Anb nnot like, "Oh I surr am a litl bit buzzed" drunk. But like, "oh no, Ive made a terriblae mistake" sdrunk. Like, " I have to close aone of my eyes to tpye this" drunk. Beacduse I decided to play a drtinking game for the Presidental deabates anfd ithing s went two far And I drank alk the America Budweiser beer abd now I'kkm just sad and aloned abd have too meat a deadline .

It akl started when Ev yrine on twitter swas like"oh it's gonna be fun to p lay these fucking drinking games duriing the debate" so I treid it becayse I It sounded like fun to makes a drinking game out of an otherwise boring event.

So teh were the riles I decided to play by 11 sipmle rules and I have copyed and pasted them hear for you to read:

1. Drink whenever you hear the word, "e-mail."

2. Drink whenever you hear the words, "I own property."

3. Drink whenever you hear the words, "inner city" used as a synonym for "brown people."

4. Drink whenever Donald Trump sniffles and you can tell that he's thinking, "Some people don't like the drip. Okay? They think it tastes weird. But me? I like it. I think it tastes nice."

5. Drink whenever archaic social norms force Hillary Clinton to smile even though you can tell she's screaming inside.

6. Drink whenever Donald Trump refers to millions of dollars as a "small loan."

7. Drink whenever two rich people discuss their plans to save the middle class.

8. Drink every time you can tell Lester Holt is struggling not to shout the words, "JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION."

9. Drink whenever either of the candidates seems at all uncomfortable to talk about race.

10. Drink whenever you want.

11. Drink twice whenever you find yourself crying in front of a full-length bathroom mirror while wearing nothing but an ugly blazer with overstuffed shoulder pads as you fight through your own choked sobs in an attempt to do your best Fozzy Bear impression while saying, "Of course she won the debate. She's a woman. They're great at arguing. WOCKA WOCKA!!"

Rihgt? Ok>/? So it seemed simlpe enouhg but thne they had that whole segemnt about race and sothat it was like 23 striaght minutes of chuging booze and feline bad for Lester. And now here I am, drunk in my, hous4 listening to Nikki Minaj and righting about politicalics and tweeting Lester Holt to askif he is o okay. But probably he isn't.

None of us are okay ahnymore. None ofus will ever b ok agaian.

So it wasz illiket. Okay. So thanat;s that. And nwo that that's that I guess that;s okjay because noow I guess maybea thi debate hass chnange some opeople's minds' maybe but I dont; reely think so becaus e When has that ever haoppend? You know? Like when has a debate ever made someone thing "oh ikay I guess now I have a diffeernet opijion." It's ujust dumb. We all jusst wasted out time reafirming opinions we alraedy had.

And of coarse the debate had to hapen on a Monda because Garfield was right. And now the hole weak is ruined. and we still haveto do two more of these.

I cant waite u ntil htis election is over.

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