How Can People Be Better Allies to the Queer Community?

Our favorite looks in Portland this week.

Sam Gehrke
Sam Gehrke

"Treat your queer friends like friends instead of just shopping buddies, dating advice, and a Google search bar. It's your job to educate yourself, to be a better friend and ally."

Sam Gehrke

"Be willing to confront and discuss your privilege and bias, even if it's uncomfortable. Also, be willing to defend those in the community you notice being discriminated against, and actually call out others for using hateful or problematic language—even if they're 'joking.'"

Sam Gehrke

"Allies can help those in our community by learning to listen intently regardless of the listener's perceived tone. As a black non-binary femme, I've used my platform to speak out against issues plaguing my specific communities and receive feedback time and time again that I should soften myself to carry across my message. It might feel good to have my community's history spoon-fed, but understand that the work is not on the community experiencing trauma/systematic oppression to level with you on our pain and suffering.

"It's on allies to listen then take action, not place judgment on the message or person communicating for being vulnerable. This includes supporting non-binary people, even when they don't fit your thin, masculinized role. Supporting black femmes (no matter how dark they are). When you open the line of communication as an ally, be prepared to hear us. We are not boxes for you to check off, we are people with a message to share with you that may be hard to hear."

Sam Gehrke

"It's important to be aware of how asking personal questions about a trans person's identity or transition can actually feel really invasive to them. Curiosity is fine, but it's important to respect the other person's boundaries, because questions about those things can be deeply personal or uncomfortable for the other person to talk about. So if you do have a questions about those things it's better to check in with them first."

Sam Gehrke

"Respecting someone's pronouns, challenging your friends and family to change, and moving away from using gendered language. For example, the word 'dude' can sometimes translate to 'person.' However, for many people in the trans community, it can also translate to 'man,' which can be super-harmful."

Willamette Week’s reporting has concrete impacts that change laws, force action from civic leaders, and drive compromised politicians from public office. Support WW's journalism today.