Breaking news: Portland is livable for rich people!

Monocle Magazine—U.K.'s lifestyle mag dedicated to investments, world affairs and occasional traveling—likes to pit the world's cities against each other to see which one can please rich people the most. Its annual Quality of Life Survey ranks the best places to live, tracking everything from "the average response time for an ambulance to the price of a decent cup of coffee."

Tokyo sits at the number one spot, proving that everyone should try and be a little bit more like Japan.

Portland obviously can't compete with Tokyo robotic magic. But Monocle was kind enough to rank us the 24th best city in the world, and we're flattered. We kept the same ranking from last year—but this year, we're the only American city on the list. The survey notes the "steelier side" we've shown since the election, and the "well-attended" protests against Donald Trump.

“Indeed Portland boasts nature, excellent food, lively neighbourhoods and legions of artisan businesses,” reads the write-up from former WW reporter (and current Portland Monthly editor) Zach Dundas. We’re also “smaller, calmer and less money-obsessed” than Seattle and San Francisco, though a peek at our real estate could raise a few eyebrows.

Not that Monocle's readership is all that worried about dollar signs. Skim through the latest issue and you'll spy ads for gold watches and wealth management groups.

How that crowd is supposed to mingle with the Naked Bike Ride is beyond us, but it's hard to complain too much we're ranked next to beacons of humanity like Singapore. Suck it, rest-of-America.