By Patrick Miller

Donald Trump has fixed global warming and because of this mother nature has blessed Portland with its snowiest day since 1980. In honor of this bigly event we give you the best sledding spots around town.

SOUTHEAST

Mount Tabor
SE 60th Ave & Salmon St.

Tabor over everything. The mounty's top spot is above the second reservoir where you can find the perfect mix of families and teenagers not so slyly drinking beers and using anything from kiddy pools to cardboard to bomb down the hill.

Safety warning: Watch out for blackberry bushes… and trees.

Sellwood Park
SE Miller St & SE 7th Ave.

Mild slopes but a great place to take a junior sledder.

Brooklyn Park
3400 SE Milwaukie Ave.

The hill is best used for a slip'n'slide during the summer months but is also a nice place to take the family on a snowy day.

Creston Park
6010 NE 37th Ave.

This park is littered with trees so its a great place to practice your slalom sled skills. Also a great place to go skinny dipping or attend pagan picnics during the summer.

NORTHEAST

Fernhill Park
6010 NE 37th Ave.

Hilly and, when Concordia is in session, college-y. Fernhill has a range of hills that make it a popular snow day destination.

Irving Park
NE Fremont St & NE 7th Ave.

Modest hills but more importantly covered basketball courts for those who know ball is life.

Deadman's Hill
Northeast Stuart Drive between Alameda Dr. and Regents Dr.

This hill is as epic as its name is foreboding. According to a local paper in the 1950's the hill was even closed off to cars during snow storms and used strictly for sledding. With a 13 percent grade be ready for high speeds. Watch out for the stop sign.

Laurelhurst Park
SE Cesar E Chavez Blvd & Stark St.

When I was 3, it got so cold people were playing hockey on the Laurelhurst Pond, it  was so cool I can actually remember it. It feels like Narnia when you are here during the snow.

NORTH

Cathedral Park

The best place to go sledding and get your senior pics taken at the same time.

Skidmore Bluff
2230 N Skidmore Ct.

Hardcore sledders only

SOUTHWEST

Council Crest
SW Council Crest Dr.

If you don't live in the West Hills this will be a tough one to get to but with huge hills and beautiful views it is worth the trek to this park that sits over 1,000 feet above sea level.

Gabriel Park
SW 45th Ave & Vermont St.

Sled down the half pipe or shred gnar on one of the many rolling hills.

Elizabeth Caruthers Park
3508 SW Moody Ave.

Finally, somewhere for the kids of the South Waterfront apartment towers to sled. There's even an igloo.

NORTHWEST

Chapman Elementary
1445 NW 26th Ave.

With one long open hill a snow day is the best non-swift related reason to go to this park.