Watching the Oscars this Sunday? You must be prepared. As a longtime veteran of Academy Awards telecasts, I can tell you from experience that only one incentive can motivate you to remain seated all the way through the B-list presenters and a Hugh Jackman's song-and-dance number. That incentive is hatred. You have to dislike a Best Picture nominee so much that nothing will dissuade you from seeing it fail spectacularly. So, just in case you haven't already found that movie, here is a vital question:
WEDNESDAY FEB. 18
[MUSIC] POP SHOT
Holocene celebrates some of the city's finest local photographers (including our own Nilina Mason-Campbell and Megan Holmes) with raucous live sets by Boy Eats Drum Machine and Lovers. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8 pm. $5. 21+.
THURSDAY FEB. 19
Hand2Mouth Theatre's Faith Helma premieres a musical solo inspired by an obscure fairy tale about a water nymph and self-destructive rock stars. Conduit Dance Ballroom, 918 SW Yamhill St., Suite 401, 235-5284. 7:30 pm Thursday-Friday, 7:30 and 9:30 pm Saturday, Feb. 19-21. $10.
PIFF's last weekend is highlighted by a Dominican baseball drama from the directing team that made Half Nelson. This time with less crack! Whitsell Auditorium, Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park Ave. 6 pm Thursday and 2:15 pm Saturday, Feb. 19 21.
FRIDAY FEB. 20
SATURDAY FEB. 21
[IMPROV] DEAR _____.
Super Project Lab offers another innovation in public humiliation: short-form improv inspired by the letters, emails and postcards of audience members. Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, superprojectlab.com. 8 pm Saturdays, Feb. 21-March 14. $14-$16.