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Watching the Oscars this Sunday? You must be prepared. As a longtime veteran of Academy Awards telecasts, I can tell you from experience that only one incentive can motivate you to remain seated all the way through the B-list presenters and a Hugh Jackman’s song-and-dance number. That incentive is hatred. You have to dislike a Best Picture nominee so much that nothing will dissuade you from seeing it fail spectacularly. So, just in case you haven’t already found that movie, here is a vital question:

Headout Picks

WEDNESDAY FEB. 18

[WORDS] BACK FENCE PDX
Seven Portlanders, including Oregonian book editor Jeff Baker and poet Anis Mojgani, tell true, unmemorized eight-minute stories based on the theme “The Moment After.” Mission Theater, 1624 NW Glisan St., 223-4527. 7 pm. $12.

[MUSIC] POP SHOT
Holocene celebrates some of the city’s finest local photographers (including our own Nilina Mason-Campbell and Megan Holmes) with raucous live sets by Boy Eats Drum Machine and Lovers. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. 8 pm. $5. 21+.

THURSDAY FEB. 19

[STAGE] UNDINE
Hand2Mouth Theatre’s Faith Helma premieres a musical solo inspired by an obscure fairy tale about a water nymph and self-destructive rock stars. Conduit Dance Ballroom, 918 SW Yamhill St., Suite 401, 235-5284. 7:30 pm Thursday-Friday, 7:30 and 9:30 pm Saturday, Feb. 19-21. $10.

[SCREEN] SUGAR
PIFF’s last weekend is highlighted by a Dominican baseball drama from the directing team that made Half Nelson. This time with less crack! Whitsell Auditorium, Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park Ave. 6 pm Thursday and 2:15 pm Saturday, Feb. 19 21.

FRIDAY FEB. 20

[CHOIR] CHANTICLEER
The world’s greatest collection of voices returns to Portland with two programs. Kaul Auditorium at Reed College, 3203 SE Woodstock Blvd., 224-9842. 7:30 pm Friday, Feb. 20. St. Philip Neri Church, 2408 SE 16th Ave., Saturday, Feb. 21. $27-$37.

SATURDAY FEB. 21

[MUSIC] DR. DOOOM VS. DR. OCTAGON
The two alter egos of insane hip-hop genius Kool Keith—deranged gynecologist Dr. Octagon and cannibalistic serial killer Dr. Dooom—battle to determine the ultimate weirdo rapper. Berbati’s Pan, 231 SW Ankeny St., 248-4579. 9 pm. $16 advance.

[IMPROV] DEAR _____.
Super Project Lab offers another innovation in public humiliation: short-form improv inspired by the letters, emails and postcards of audience members. Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, superprojectlab.com. 8 pm Saturdays, Feb. 21-March 14. $14-$16.

SUNDAY FEB. 22

[MUSIC] A.C. NEWMAN
New Pornographers leader Carl Newman returns with a new set of undeniably catchy rock songs. Doug Fir, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

HATE LIVE: The 81st Annual Academy Awards air on ABC at 5 pm Sunday, Feb. 22. The Hollywood Theatre will host Oscar Night America starting at 4 pm. Tickets are $50. For the less well-heeled, Aaron Mesh will liveblog the ceremony at wweek.com.

02.17.2009 at 10:54 Reply

jeff taylor

Tell you what, Aaron: Let's obliterate the word "hate" from headlines. Given that this is 2009, I'd like to quit having that word appear on the radar screen of my optic nerve. Feels like the N-word, somehow, and I don't believe it's pure association; I dislike and disapprove of lots of stuff, but the H-word seems further down the spectrum of dark emotion than I ever care to go. Yes, I have hated. Yes, I have heard and spoken certain words that would be nice to call back.

Ecrasez l'enfame, okay? All of us try not to hate anyone for a whole year, just to bless our own good luck that Barack Obama is in the Oval Office, trying to quit smoking.

Free constructive criticism, Aaron. Worth what you paid for it. Ignore it at your peril.

03.15.2009 at 11:27 Reply

Elfin Slade

still, it's good to hate the government for continuing its faulty support of the iRS and federal reserve. the tools of mass servitude. it is healthy to hate slavery.