I went to a strip club where one of the strippers was smokin', but the other didn't do anything for me. My impulse was to rush over to the stage when the hot one came on, tip lavishly to impress her, and then leave whenever the other girl began her set. But that seemed rude. What's the etiquette here?

—Gentleman Patron of Gentleman's Clubs

The things I put myself through for you people. Other men have fine, honorable jobs—digging ditches, changing bedpans. Me, I have to go to sleazy bars in the nation's titty-bar capital and talk to hot, naked girls. I hope you appreciate my sacrifice.

You and the other horny cheapskates of the world will be relieved to hear that on the great continuum of strip club faux pas, playing favorites is pretty small beer.

"If you're a stripper, it's something you have to deal with," says dancer Gypsy Rose, of Union Jacks. "As long as they don't leave with an inappropriate gesture, or watch half my song and then get up without tipping, it doesn't really bother me."

The list of things that do bother her underscores how very little it takes to get a passing grade in this class: Don't tip with, or throw, change. Don't poke your finger in a dancer's ass. Don't masturbate at the rail. This isn't rocket surgery, folks. Gypsy Rose even has some advice on how to impress that smokin' hot stripper, as long as you accept that she is not—ever—going to go out with you.

"If you have a favorite girl, bring her gifts—it's not creepy," she says. Those gifts needn't be expensive: "I had a guy who made me chocolate-covered strawberries. It makes a girl feel special that you want her to feel nice and be happy."


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