1. Whip It: Did you know that your children are inhaling nitrous oxide from cans of dessert topping? Academy, Laurelhurst, Valley.
2. Zombieland: It is something they do all the time when you’re not home. Academy, Bagdad, Grand Lodge, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Milwaukie, Mission, Valley.
3. Invasion of the Body Snatchers: It is a scourge, which is why this movie is so important. Bagdad. 11 pm Saturday, Dec. 5.
4. Found Footage Festival: I’m sorry? Is that not what Whip It is about? Laurelhurst. Friday-Saturday, Dec. 4-5.
5. Couples Retreat: Whatever. I am so high right now. Academy, Edgefield, Kennedy School, Milwaukie, St. Johns.