1. Zombieland: In the past year, I have offended many people. Academy, Laurelhurst, Mission, Valley.

2. Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs: People who think that Avatar and The Wrestler are the greatest movies ever made, for example. Academy, Bagdad, Edgefield, Kennedy School, St. Johns, Valley.

3. The Men Who Stare at Goats: Also people who live on the Green Line. And people who remember Wounded Knee. Academy, Bagdad, Edgefield, Grand Lodge, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Mission, St. Johns, Valley.

4. Law Abiding Citizen: And people who really love dolphins and small whales. And Dave Allen from Gang of Four. Bagdad, Kennedy School, Valley.

5. Where the Wild Things Are: I want these people to know that I forgive them. Academy, Bagdad, Grand Lodge, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Mission, Valley.