How do I get my question used in Dr. Know? Why do I have to sign myself with a name and an initial? Are these questions even real? —Joe the Bummer

Well, this one isn't. But for an imaginary guy, you raise some good points. Here's the scoop: Preferential treatment is given to questions having to do with stuff that's in the news now (as well as to those delivered in person by hot Jewish girls, but that's another story), so your Bob Straub question likely won't make the cut.

As for the signature, you're right; the way we've been doing it is boring. From now on, feel free to sign yourselves with lame jokes and tortured puns, like you do for every other column.

How does the cell phone ban affect those whose jobs require using the phone while driving?

—Some Poor Bastard Who Didn't Get to Make Up His Own Signature

Loophole-seekers have noted that the ban exempts cell phone use "in the scope of the person's employment." If your vehicle makes it obvious that you're such a person (like a cab or a delivery truck), you'll probably skate.

But what about bigshots who think it's crucial to annoy their co-workers even when they're out of the office? Do those conversations fall within the "scope of employment"?

Only if driving is part of their job description, like a sales rep, says police bureau spokeswoman Mary Wheat. If you and the officer disagree on this point, "Everyone has a right to go before a judge."

Bottom line: Unless you've got slam-dunk proof you're on the clock (like a marked car or a human kidney on ice in the passenger seat), buy a headset. They'll stop being painfully uncool any day now, I promise.