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RIDEON GOES CITYWIDE:RideOn, the nonprofit that drives your drunk ass home in your own car, has extended its range to anywhere in Portland proper. A $15 fee lets you maintain the illusion of teleportation when you wake up safely in your own bed after a long night of partying. 11 pm-3 am Fridays and Saturdays. RideOn, 235-7433, rideonportland.org.
FREE SOAK AND SAUNA: A press release for the Empress, a new food cart in the parking lot of the Common Grounds Wellness Center, describes the lunch-and-dinner spot as a "relaxing outdoor place to relax and eat." In case that's not relaxing enough, a $5 purchase from the Empress gets you a free half-hour soak and sauna pass at CGWC until May 31. 5010 NE 33rd Ave., 238-1065, soakandsauna.com.
MARIO PARTY: The Nintendo corporation should be honored with a lifetime achievement award for its contributions to nerd society. Warp back to the glory days of the 8-bit classics at Ground Kontrol's Nintendo Party, where you can compete on old consoles and show off your encyclopedic knowledge of Zelda and Metroid trivia. Sega players will also be tolerated. 511 NW Couch St., 796-9364. 7 pm-midnight Thursday, May 27. 21+. No cover.
KARMA CLASSES: Yoga rookies can learn the downward-facing dog and other basics at the Bhaktishop, where free classes are offered every Tuesday and Wednesday. Or leave a donation and see what it does for your karma. 2500 SE 26th Ave., 244-0108. 7–8 pm Tuesdays, 4–5 pm Wednesdays. Free.
JEREMY SERWER: Jeremy Serwer, formerly known as Rich Man's Burden, returns to Portland to play this free show at Mississippi Pizza. The singer-songwriter combines personal heartaches with social commentary in preparation for the release of two new albums. 3552 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3231. 9 pm Thursday, May 27. Free.
SCREEN FIX: Desperately forcing a broken touchscreen to acknowledge your fingers' commands is no way to live. Revived Cellular and Technology can repair the LCD on your iPhone or iPod for a fraction of what it would cost you at the Apple store. They can also take the cracks out of your CrackBerry. 7816 N Interstate Ave., 286-1527, revivedcellular.com.