Old Town taproom PINTS (12 NW 5th Ave, 564-2739, pintsbrewing.com) finally brings something new to Portland's bar scene: a small, plain room with hospital-chic white neon lighting; uncomfortable cafe seating; an unremarkable lineup of nine local tap beers (mostly pale ales) at standard prices ($4 to $5 a pint, $1 off during happy hour), no food—save for some free chips and dip to appease Portland's liquor laws—generic easy listening jazz; and a clientele of middle-management types. Yes, PINTS (a coffee shop by day) has succeeded in creating a bar so bland and so charmless that it is 100 percent hipster-free. Portland's pretty young things may have overrun every other rock, sports, cocktail, gay and dive bar in town, but fortysomething Kenny G fans can rest assured that PINTS has zero appeal—ironic or otherwise—to anyone else. In this town, that is truly exceptional.