I have this little mini-transmitter thing that broadcasts my iPod music through my car radio. I’m supposed to find a frequency for it where no real radio stations can interfere, but there’s always some static, which is sort of annoying. So tell me: What’s the “deadest” FM frequency in Portland for these gizmos?
—Almost Cool in Alameda
Writing this column is, of course, an honor and a privilege, and for some time now, I’ve been wanting to give something back to my readers. It’s the least I can do—after all, it’s your tireless indifference, your tepid devotion, that has made “Dr. Know” the No. 2 weekly edu-tainment feature among 45- to 54 year-old Portlanders currently taking a dump at work. (Curse you, Slylock Fox!)
So for months I’ve been asking myself: “What is the least I could do? What’s the most trivial contribution, the absolute minimum effort I could expend, that would still count as an act of public service?”
And now Almost Cool here has found it. You see, for too long, our city’s gizmo-havers have groped in the darkness like legless ducks, suffering under the cruel lash of sub-optimal iPod reception. But no more, for I have come to answer destiny’s call!
Or rather, we all have: I’m asking every gizmo-haver among you to answer this one for me so I can get drunk and watch porn to help me settle this burning question once and for all. Just drop a quick line to email@example.com and tell us the best frequencies you’ve found for your gizmo, and what parts of town they work best in, if it seems relevant. I’ll compile the answers here next week, and we’ll also put the best comments on the blog. Together, we can be the change we’ve been waiting for. Si se puede.