The closest thing Portland has to a Pac-10 bar, the Cheerful Tortoise packs the benefits of a college sports bar without the vomiting sorority girls and Dave Matthews fans. The basement-y Tortoise is sectioned into chunks, making it easy to dodge annoying drunk people by splitting from the spacious northern section into the more isolated southern end. That comes in handy during games. But on the bar’s legendary $1 beer nights, which on Thursdays shell out every beer on the ample tap for the price of a McChicken, there is no escape. Come ready to get drunk—and relive the glory days.
What to drink: It’s all about the beer, especially on $1 beer night (Thursdays, 8-11 pm).
Happy hour: $2.75 wells and microbrews; 3-6 pm Monday-Friday, midnight-2 am daily.
Entertainment: Trivia night, karaoke, TV, fireplace, pool, video games, Wi-Fi.