As you may have heard, Portland has a lot of strip clubs. But only at Acropolis is the T&A not the main attraction. Everyone in town knows about the cheap-but-tasty steak meals courtesy of the owner's cattle ranch ($5.50 gets you an 8-ounce sirloin, a side item and a piece of Texas toast), but the bar also boasts a whopping 51 beers on tap. It's enough to distract from the weird statue of a Greek god with a glowing orb in its crotch, or the fact that you drove halfway to Milwaukie to see tits. MATT SINGER.
What to drink: Beer.
Entertainment: Strippers, TV, vending machines.