The bathroom graffiti has that whole "brevity = wit" equation down ("Eat my festering feces," for instance, which works as an exhortation and a band name), and the proprietors of this crepuscular punk-'n'-roll den are just as gleefully rude with our tender language: Peep the food special called "Angry Monkey Fuck." It probably contains very little actual monkey or fuck, because those things are expensive, and the Red Room is all about the affordable buzz. The bartenders don't reach up to the top shelf often, and they will punish your refined airs with steep prices ($7.50 for a Maker's and soda), so go cheap or go home. CHRIS STAMM.
What to drink: Anything your bartender does not have to stretch to reach.
Happy hour: $3 food 4-8 pm daily.
Entertainment: Live music, trivia, pool, TVs.