Nobody really knows what Cheez Whiz is. The bizarre, bright-orange slop tastes nothing like real cheese and appears to have been rendered from alien ooze from another galaxy. But one thing is certain: a Philly cheesesteak simply isn’t the real deal without it. Lucky for Portland, Steakadelphia is as real as the Spirit of ’76. Whiz aside, the unassuming Steakadelphia gets the traditional, thin-sliced sandwich right, from the perfect integration of translucent onions to the small lake of grease that pools underneath sandwiches like the Cheez Whiz Philly ($6-$10.50), making it necessary to chomp down the whole concoction before the hoagie bun disintegrates. Burgers are also great, and the Whiz-averse have the choice of other cheeses on their sandwiches. Just be sure to leave room for a terrific strawberry shake ($3.25), made with real ice cream for anyone who needs an actual dairy product to counteract the Whiz’s unforeseen genetic consequences.