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February 8th, 2012 CASEY JARMAN | Music Stories
 

Songs To Seal The V-Day Deal

Portland musicians present and defend their favorite sex jams.

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Most Portland musicians don’t want to talk about doing it. Or so it seemed when we asked dozens of Portland musicians about their favorite sex songs. Like with so many other topics, it’s all in how you ask the question. So here are some of Portland’s finest on their favorite sweaty, nasty hump-jams and/or the songs they find to be steamy. Happy Valentine’s Day, and good luck with your holiday sexing. 


Katy Davidson, Key Losers
My favorite sex jam is the album Naked Acid by Valet, played in its entirety. Picture slow-motion jet skiing over the moon Europa. This is a journey from which you probably won’t return. Also, don’t ever decide it’s a good idea to put on Toto IV when you’re gonna do it. “Rosanna” and “Africa” are not sexy songs.

Cloudy October
I’ve got to go with Prince’s “The Beautiful Ones” off of Purple Rain. Whether this song is sexy or not is really, of course, subjective. Well, it’s Prince, so I bet it’s like federally registered as sexy. It has a gamut of emotions going on, it seems. A musical climax and resolution that matches the written composition, which was given a third interpretation in the film Purple Rain, visually. Sounds fresh every time I listen to it, and it’s been almost 30 years since the shit came out. That’s hard.



Tony Ozier, Doo Doo Funk All-Stars
My song has to be “Adore” off of Prince’s Sign o’ the Times record. Just a straight, dirty baby-makin’ ballad!

Ben Darwish
Ginuwine, “Pony.” One of the sexiest R&B jams of all time. Props to Timbaland for the distinct and infectious “toad croak” bass line.



Sara Hernandez, The Angry Orts
“I’m Your Man,” by Leonard Cohen. It has a dark, almost Lynchian sound about it, and Cohen’s low growl adds a sort of dangerous shiver to its slinky feel. The opening lines (“If you want a lover, I’ll do anything you ask me to/ And if you want another kind of love, I’ll wear a mask for you”) are total sex. And you just can’t beat that ’80s synth solo.



Lisa Schonberg, STLS
A meadow full of crickets.

Kyle Morton, Typhoon
“I’ve Been Thinking” by Handsome Boy Modeling School (featuring Chan Marshall). Too sexy.



DJ Wicked
“Freaks of the Industry” by Digital Underground. “You’re taxin’ it and waxin’ it and workin’ it around/ ’Til the booty starts makin’ that clappin’ sound”



Steven Hefter, St. Even
“Je T’Aime Moi Non Plus” by Serge Gainsbourg. Incomprehensible whisper-crooning, moaning and cooing in la langue de l’amour and shit.



Adam Shearer, Weinland/Alialujah Choir
Joe Simon’s “Let’s Spend the Night Together.” Just listen to it, you’ll understand.

Lizzy Ellison, Radiation City
“He Perdido Contigo,” by Omara Portuondo. I like to imagine Salma Hayek, bust very visible, whilst cooking some amazing Hispanic dish. I’m not saying that I want her personally, but she exudes sex just the same as this song. Seductive, yet playful. Obviously perfect.



Jen Bernard, The Stolen Sweets
When my BF and I first started hookin’ up, Sigur Rós’ Takk had just come out. Somehow, it became our ad hoc love soundtrack. Nothing says “hot” like oozing, orchestral, extraterrestrial Icelandic mood pop.

Tope, TxE/Living Proof
Zapp & Roger’s “Computer Love.” Basically one of the first things I inquire about a girl is her knowledge of this song. It pretty much goes like this: “What’s your name again? Are you a fan of Zapp & Roger?” If the answer to the second question is no, there’s a 90 percent chance we won’t even continue speaking. Side note: If anyone has sex while Lil Wayne’s music is playing in the background, they are officially committing a crime and their partner should immediately alert the authorities.



Lauren K. Newman/LKN
Truth be told, I am not a fan of prerecorded tunes blasting while engaging in the making of love. However, one of the most passionate, near-tantric love-making sessions I participated in with my lover was soundtracked by the album Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere by Neil Young. Each time we both neared the rim of ecstasy, “Cinnamon Girl” happened to be playing, or so it seemed. That song definitely turned me on as well as my partner, something to do with the line “the drummer relaxes and waits between shows for his cinnamon girl.” Just sexy. To be noted, the four other discs in rotation that day/night/day were by Townes Van Zandt, Fleetwood Mac, Confessor and Barry White. All highly recommended sexual-intercourse jams.



Mike Midlo, Pancake Breakfast
Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong doing “Cheek to Cheek.” You know, old Barry White sets the tone like nobody else, and Ike and Tina Turner, they can seal the deal every time. But after celebrating 23 years’ worth of Valentine’s nights with the same woman, I tell you—it’s not as much as about sparks and flames as it is the warmth of the fire. And for me, this Ella and Louis duet gets down to the glowing embers of it all.



Danny Seim, Menomena
I wish I had some insight to offer you here. I’ve honestly never really listened to music during sex, unless you count the Hulk Hogan theme song “Real American,” and that was only because it was blasting out over the loudspeakers in the arena attached to the men’s room I was in at the time.

Alan Singley
Teddy Pendergrass, “Turn Off the Lights.” The lyrics might inspire some giggles, but that never hurt. Teddy reminds the listener what it means to be a considerate and hygienic lover. Plus, you gotta love that lush, tight Philly production.



Amanda Spring, Point Juncture, WA
“An Echo In” by the Sea and Cake is hot-hot-hot. The whole Glass EP, in fact, provides a great backdrop for getting fresh. I don’t know if it’s John McEntire’s tight, driving beats or Sam Prekop’s whispery vocals that get me. I’d pit it against many a “Girl, I’m going to sex you” ballad any day.



DJ Spark/Sparker Lewis, Sandpeople
What’s the whole point of this article when we all know the sexiest, most doing-it-est song of all-time is “Lemme Smang It” by Yung Humma and Flynt Flo$$y? A more appropriate question would be what’s your second favorite doing-it anthem? In which case, I would also answer, “Lemme Smang It” by Yung Humma and Flynt Flo$$y.



Courtney Sheedy, Team Evil
Beach House’s “Real Love” gets me every time. It’s pretty long, and the ohs are built in.



Liv Warfield
Betty Wright, “Tonight is the Night.” When I first heard this song, I had to turn the volume down from my parents. But now, honey, this is grown-folk lovin’. It’s just right for me.



Chris Funk, The Decemberists
I have a kid. I don’t do it anymore. 
 
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