There are at least a dozen serviceable places to play shuffleboard in Portland, but the beautiful table at Hal’s, with its smooth wood and light-up scoreboard, is widely considered the finest. The bartender tells me she’s deadly serious about keeping beers away from it. “The first time I give people a warning,” she says. “And then the second time I might tickle them. But I’ll throw people out if I have to.”
The loose crew of players who gather here for informal tournaments on Friday and Saturday nights—mostly men, mostly past retirement age—like to say the table is “faster than snot.” They disagree on the exact date this table landed at Hal’s, but the bar opened in 1944 and they figure it has been here since near the beginning. “I’m not sure,” one of them tells me. “I’ve only been playing here since ’65. Ask Dan.” Dan is Dan Dobbek, who played a season with the Washington Senators before they became the Minnesota Twins. A blown-up 1960 rookie card hangs on the wall not far from where Dobbek is sitting with the same constant smile plastered on his face. He’s not sure on the date of the table, either, though he may well have misheard the question.
With help from the
regulars (“Use the edge!” “Throw it like you mean it!”), a particularly
lucky throw, a trashed young opponent and a bye-round draw, Don and I
make our way to the finals, where we lose focus and drop the game to the
tune of 16-3. “Hey, we did all right,” Don says, shaking my hand
firmly. Later I hear him telling his friends that “this was a real good
one tonight.” I couldn’t agree more.
SEE IT: Players at Havana West, 1308 SE Morrison St., hold informal shuffleboard tournaments most Friday and Saturday nights at 7 pm. A five-week tournament begins Tuesday, March 6, and continues every Tuesday until April 3 (with $1.50 Pabst pints during tournament play).
WEDNESDAY FEB. 22GARTH FAGAN DANCE
[DANCE] It’s a jazzy two-for-one deal: Dance presenter White Bird has teamed up, for the first time, with the Portland Jazz Festival to bring us Garth Fagan’s Griot New York, set to an original score by jazz trumpeter Wynton Marsalis. Choreographed in 1991 by Fagan, the piece tells the story—as an African griot might—of urban life, invoking its sights and sounds, dissonances and harmonies. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm. $26-$64. All ages.
SATURDAY FEB. 25PORTLAND CELLO PROJECT PLAYS PANTERA
[MUSIC] Tonight PCP is performing, in full, one of the most ferocious metal records ever made: Pantera’s Vulgar Display of Power. On the surface, it seems like an odd choice, but cello makes a perfect stand-in for Dimebag Darrell’s power-drill guitar. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.
SUNDAY FEB. 26THE ENVELOPE PLEASE: OREGON GOES TO THE OSCARS
[MOVIE HISTORY] Hours before the Academy Awards hit your TV (or the Bagdad, Hollywood and Mission theaters, if you feel like company), Oregon film historian Anne Richardson gives an illustrated primer on the state’s golden-statuette honorees. Hint: One of them rhymes with Mus Man Mant. Oregon Historical Society, 1200 SW Park Ave., 222-1741. 2 pm. Free with OHS admission and/or to Multnomah County residents.
ULTIMATE CHEESE CHALLENGE
[FOOD] Cheese Bar’s Steve Jones and Tabla Bistro team up for the Ultimate Cheese Challenge: Jones will select 36 cheeses (it’s, like, the largest Steve’s Cheese Plate ever!), and participants will get two hours to taste them all, along with cured meats from McMinnville’s Fino in Fondo, wines from Matello Wine and Teutonic Wine Company, beer from the Commons Brewery and Gigantic Brewing and cider from Bushwhacker Cider and Wandering Aengus Ciderworks. Tabla Mediterranean Bistro, 200 NE 28th Ave. 238-3777, tabla-restaurant.com. $49.
MONDAY FEB. 27CAT ON A HOT TIN ROOF
[MOVIES] It’s Elizabeth Taylor’s 80th birthday and, as we can’t spend it in the heavenly tree house she shares with Michael Jackson, let us instead join her granddaughter Laela Wilding to watch Granny Liz take on Tennessee Williams. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 493-1128. 7 pm. $10 donation benefits Cascade AIDS Project and da Vinci Arts Middle School.