* The end is here--at least for Jantzen Beach's Kmart superstore. After 30 years in business, the store, along with several across the country, will close its doors in mid-April. But before it goes, it's having the blue-light special to end all blue-light specials. In a twist that will send postmodernists into a state of orgiastic bliss, now on special are the very blue lights used to hawk the eponymous sale items since the store opened. The big model is a whopping $1,500, but a smaller version, at just $200, is a steal for those who have always dreamed of holding their own "blue-light special."

* Former Portland Police Chief Charles Moose, who appeared last fall in the national spotlight for his role as the head of the D.C. sniper investigation, had a rough week. Moose, now Montgomery County, Md.'s police chief, was called up Tuesday for active duty as a member of the National Guard. Two days later, the Montgomery County Ethics Commission rejected Moose's request to write a book and consult on a movie, both of which deal with the sniper investigation. Maryland ethics laws prohibit county employees from privately profiting from the prestige of their position. Moose can appeal the decision.

* On March 21 Clackamas County Commissioner Michael Jordan said he'd likely leave his post to work for Metro. Six days later, Republican Kate Schiele walked into the Clackamas County elections office and changed her party registration to Democrat. What a coincidence! Jordan, a Democrat, must be replaced by a Democrat appointed by Gov. Ted Kulongoski, and Schiele just happens to be interested in the job. Her switch is remarkable, since she ran for the Metro presidency as an anti-government candidate five months ago, worked on Bill Sizemore's ill-fated 1998 gubernatorial campaign and was once involved in Nevada Republican politics. Hey, in this economy, a job's a job, right?

* Crown Pacific's stock has slumped from 21 bucks three years ago to a recent low of 11 cents, and equity holders haven't seen any payouts for years. But CEO Peter Stott is still well taken care of. Crown's annual report, released on Monday, shows that Stott (See Rogue of the Week, page 10) took home $776,000 last year. That sum is a 31 percent cut from 2002 but not too shabby considering Crown's abysmal performance.

* If this political thing doesn't work out, state Sen. Charlie Ringo might consider a gig as a talk-show host. The Beaverton Democrat appeared on The O'Reilly Factor on Fox last week to spar with KXL radio's Lars Larson over the proposed law to set stiffer sentences for protesters who break the law. In his attack on the proposal Ringo, a lawyer and Air Force vet, backed Larson into a ridiculous corner (people who block traffic are "terrorists") and won praise from host Bill O'Reilly, who called him a "feisty...good man."

* Former WW cover boy Bob Orians has again escaped the long arm of the law. Orians, a former venture capitalist who has a habit of not repaying investors ("With Friends Like This...," WW, Nov. 7, 2001) got good news from the Oregon Supreme Court last week. The court ruled that Multnomah County Judge Jean Kerr Maurer erred when she ordered Orians to face trial on theft charges last year. Maurer had earlier offered to dismiss the charges if Orians made restitution to a victim. Orians complied, but Maurer changed her mind after another case against Orians was dismissed. The court said that was a no-no.