1. GUNS OF BRIDGETOWN: It seems like monumentally bad karma to steal from John Wayne, but one brazen thief did just that on July 24. The thief waltzed into Movie Madness—the Southeast Portland video rental store that displays owner Mike Clark’s memorabilia—and stole two famous firearms: a shotgun brandished by William Holden in 1969’s The Wild Bunch, and a working rifle from the 1962 Wayne classic The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. Insulting the Duke, the bandit allegedly got away on a bicycle, like a pinko commie tree-hugger. Security video shows a stocky, bald-headed Caucasian man stuffing the guns under his shirt and fleeing the scene. According to the store, police have identified a suspect but aren’t releasing his name to the media for fear he may skip town.
  1. FUTURE DRINKING: Chef Courtney Sproule’s roaming supper club, Din Din, is settling down. Sproule has applied for a full liquor license for 920 NE Glisan St. Din Din will serve coffee and “light lunch fare” on weekdays, and Sunday brunch and dinner by reservation only in the evening from Thursday to Saturday. >> John Dovydenas, owner of the Picnic food cart, is looking to open a winery. Dovydenas Wines, at 1410 SE Clinton St., will not be open to the public, offering wholesale sales only. >> In other wine news, Laurelhurst wine store Vino (137 SE 28th Ave.) has applied for a limited on-premises serving license.
  1. BAM: Maria Bamford, a headliner at April’s Bridgetown Comedy Festival, is returning to Portland to record a new album at Helium Comedy Club (which makes sense, since her stage voice makes it sound like she enjoys huffing balloons) on Tuesday and Wednesday, Aug. 7-8. Tickets are $23-$28.
  1. VAN DAMN: And And And’s second annual Rigsketball Tournament was heating up as of press time, with a few WW favorites (Wild Ones, Ugly Flowers, Suicide Notes) losing in the 32-team indie-rock/van-basketball tourney. Disastrously out-of-shape WW music editor Casey Jarman’s twee folk outfit, the Morals, took two savage beatings from all-elbows Best New Band winners Radiation City to fall out of the first round, while TxE punished Old Age in Globetrotter fashion. Those bands, plus Otis Heat, Hustle & Drone and the surprisingly athletic Nick Jaina Band, join the hosts in the next round. The finals will be held Wednesday, Aug. 8, at Bunk Bar followed by a free show from Monarques.
  1. UMM, JUST ONE MORE THING: For those who have long mourned the dearth of cheesy theater restaurants in this city (we don’t have enough underemployed actors here?), here’s some exciting news: “America’s largest murder mystery dinner show,” the Dinner Detective, is coming. It’s a live game of Clue while you eat dinner, which will most likely be popular with bachelorette parties, work outings and your visiting aunt from Nebraska.