On subsequent early-morning weekend visits, I tried various responses to their proselytizing: reasoning, yelling, threatening with legal action for trespassing, saying I worshipped Satan (not true) and stating that I was a lesbian (true). I thought that last one would do the trick, but it just seemed to give them more incentive. Then I got an idea. I wrote this on an index card and taped it to the door:
I heard them on the porch the next Saturday, but no knock. They never came back. I guess they didn't love Jesus enough to strip for him.
TROUBLE WITH THESE VOICES
Julie Parrish, the "brash Republican survivor" and newly elected Oregon House representative from West Linn, suffers from Clarence Thomas syndrome-—the beneficiary of governmental programs whose benefits she wishes to deny to those who follow ["Voices," WW, Jan. 2, 2013].
Parrish says what she learned from her and her five siblings growing up on food stamps "is that the system does not work."
The system worked precisely as it was intended, nourishing Parrish and her siblings until they could grow up (and become conservatives, as she reports they have).
We need to hear less from Fred Armisen, not more please. I'm sick of him and his embarrassing unfunny-ness. I don't care about his boring hipstery self-involved blabbermouth infatuation with Portland, and I hold him partly responsible for the ruining [of] Portland. Thanks!
This is a lovely profile of Johnny No Bueno, making him look like a progressive defender of the working man. You'd never know the negative, conservative bloviating tone of his poems from reading this.
MORE THAN ORDINARY
The Streetcar Bistro and Taproom is a wonderful haven for family and friends ["Bar Spotlight," WW, Jan. 2, 2013]. It doesn't look like any airport bar or corporate-stamp dark-wood pub with fried food I have ever been to. I think you were looking for the ordinary and your expectations were, of course, disappointed.
The food, staff, ambiance and prices are quite amazing. I am not a beer aficionado...yet. I do know my cocktails, and their Jasmo blew me out of the water. It is truly extraordinary.
Check it out for yourself.
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author's street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words.
Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210.
Fax: (503) 243-1115, Email: firstname.lastname@example.org