"Your mama is so stupid she told you that you could be whatever you wanted to be when you grew up. So, you never put any real effort into high school. Not putting any thought into what you wanted to do with your life, you went to college. She told you to follow your heart, so you got a B.S. in sociology. But you couldn't find a job you were "worthy" of, so she now has her unemployed, single, Pabst-swigging, ironic movie-watching, beard-sporting, bike-riding, mandolin-playing, zombie-fearing, debt-collecting, piece-of-shit kid living with her. She is also fat."
GO: Gabe Dinger is at Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm Sunday, March 3.