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June 12th, 2013 MATTHEW SINGER | Top 5
 

Top Five Bands Too Old To Be Playing Warped Tour

music_reelbigfishIMAGE: Kevin Knight
Reel Big Fish (pictured)
Ska is overdue for another ironic revival, but until it actually happens, the average Warped-goer is going to wonder what the paunchy Ace Ventura impersonator playing music that sounds taken from the background of a Saturday-morning cereal commercial is doing onstage.



Motion City Soundtrack

Claiming such erudite influences as Sunny Day Real Estate and Jawbox while actually sounding like a warmed-over Weezer, these Minneapolis power-poppers were lost among the emo millions in the early 2000s, but they’ll look like Elvis Costello and the friggin’ Attractions with this crowd.



Goldfinger

Another relic of the ska-punk ’90s, Goldfinger’s last dalliance with relevance was appearing on The Waterboy soundtrack, which is also the last time anyone had positive feelings toward Adam Sandler. As I probably don’t need to tell you, that was a long time ago.


Hawthorne Heights

When your band is thought of with faint, lukewarm nostalgia by a kid not yet old enough to rent a car, perhaps it’s time to give dubstep a try.



Big D and the Kids Table

Wait, there’s another 20-year-old ska-punk band on the bill? Did the revival already happen and no one bothered to tell those of us who actually wore pinstripe suits and porkpie hats to school in 1997? Damn kids.

 
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