Hey girl, looking to spice up your summer vacay? Hollywood hotties are heating up screens across Portland parks, and WW, your trusty guide to all things teen, is here to help you decide which movie to see, based on which star you find dreamiest. The boy next door? The jock? The dreamboat? The 7-foot-tall French strongman? Take this quiz to figure out which dude is your perfect movie match!
What's his best personality trait?
A. Friendly with everyone, even that crazy
B. Astonishing physical strength.
C. He's always looking out for his little brother. Such a sweetheart!
D. Quiet dignity.
What's your guy's style?
A. Practical layers: casual button-down, jean jacket (so in right now!) and a puffy vest for when he gets cold or goes boating.
B. Super-cute earth tones.
C. The athletic look—it's all about a cutoff tee and sweats, with a bandanna for a bit of flair.
D. Vintage wool Brooklyn Dodgers cap.
What would be your perfect date?
A. Dancing the night away at a retro '50s underwater-themed party.
B. A cozy night at home playing word games.
C. Caving. You can hardly wait to get him alone underground.
D. Epic Saturday at the batting cages.
What does he say that just makes you melt?
A. "If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything."
B. "Anybody want a peanut?"
C. "You've got a great body."
D. "A life is not important except in the impact it has on other lives."
What's his hidden talent?
A. Skateboarding, hoverboarding, guitar.
B. Writing limericks.
C. Zoo bombing.
D. Clothing design.
Nobody's perfect. What's your guy's biggest flaw?
A. He's always 25 minutes late.
B. Can't beat Hulk Hogan.
C. He still doesn't have his driver's license.
D. Struggles with long infield throws.
And shhh: What's your guy's biggest secret?
A. He has a weird thing with his mom.
B. His hands may be huge, but...
C. He's scared of bats.
D. He actually wanted to play for the Yankees.
You just bombed your history exam. How does your guy cheer you up?
A. Goes back in time; makes you prettier.
B. Squeezes coal into diamonds; passes out.
C. Brings you some dude's money; gets shot in shitty hotel in El Paso.
D. Hits home run; defeats racism.
What's your guy's biggest accomplishment?
A. Inventing rock 'n' roll.
B. Remaining undefeated for 15 years...before being body-slammed at Wrestlemania III.
C. Saving Astoria, Ore.
D. Overcoming every single odd against him, ever.
Mostly A's: You love a guy with a rebellious streak! You get Marty McFly from Back to the Future.
Mostly B's: Hope you like tall dudes! Your match is Fezzik from The Princess Bride, played by Andre the Giant.
Mostly C's: What a hunk! You're scoring with Brand (Josh Brolin) from The Goonies.
Mostly D's. Lucky you! Jackie Robinson (42) is your other half.
SEE IT: Movies in the Park is at parks across the city through Sept. 12. Movies begin at dusk. See portlandoregon.gov/parks for full schedule. Free.