GO: The third annual Bacon Cup is at Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., on Saturday, Aug 3. 8 pm. $6 general admission, $12 VIP. 21+. The third annual (and final) West Coast Beard & Mustache Championships are at Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., on Saturday, Aug. 3. 3 pm. $9.50 advance, $12 day of show. All ages. Purchase tickets or register to compete at stumptownsbc.com.
WEDNESDAY JULY 31NW HOUSE MUSIC CONFERENCE
[MUSIC] This gathering of regional underground DJs offers classes covering everything from production to design to dancing, but let’s not kid ourselves: The real lessons are going to be taught on dance floors across Portland, with some “workshops” continuing until the sun comes up. Multiple venues. $10 individual events, $125 festival wristband. See northwesthousemusicconference.com for schedule. Through Aug. 4.
THURSDAY AUG. 1IAN KARMEL IS MOVING TO LA!?
[COMEDY] Portland’s reigning king of comedy is following the well-trodden path to Los Angeles this summer, and Funny Over Everything—one of Portland’s more reliable standup showcases—gives him his sendoff. Karmel’s Mercury affiliation aside, this city is losing a genuinely impressive funnyman. Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 281-4215. 7:30 pm. $10.
MINUS THE BEAR
[MUSIC] Prog rock and emo make strange bedfellows, but the pairing is seamless in the hands of this Seattle institution, which has spent the past decade honing its peculiar brand of high-tech math pop. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave., 971-230-0033. 8 pm. $16 advance, $20 day of show. 21+.
FRIDAY AUG. 2PICKATHON
[MUSIC] Although much of the actual “picking” is now overshadowed by big-name indie buzz acts—this year’s includes Kurt Vile, Divine Fits and headliner Feist—Pickathon has evolved into one of the most uniquely eclectic music festivals in the country, with opportunities to discover your new favorite artist happening at any given moment. Pendarvis Farm, 16581 SE Hagen Road, Happy Valley. $160 individual days, $260 weekend admission. All ages. See pickathon.com for schedule.
SATURDAY AUG. 3DRIVE-IN AT ZIDELL YARDS
[MOVIES] Forget about driving to Newberg or Hood River for your old-timey moviegoing experience: The NW Film Center is bringing the drive-in to you. For three days, catch screenings of four classic movies—Singin’ in the Rain, Dazed and Confused, Jaws and Blue Velvet—underneath the Ross Island Bridge. Pack breath mints (nudge, nudge). Zidell Yards, 3030 SW Moody Ave., 221-1156. Dusk. $8-$12. See nwfilm.org for schedule. Through Aug. 5.
SASSY’S CAR AND DOG WASH
[STRIPPERS] Strippers at the heavily tattooed inner-Southeast club scrub cars and pooches to benefit the Oregon Humane Society. Why not support a good cause for once in your wretched life? 11 am-6 pm. 927 SE Morrison St., 231-1606, sassysbar.com. Tip like you’re sitting at the rail.