The Don Knotts Bowel Movement
This one just didn’t roll off the tongue as well as “Diarrhea Planet.” Band names longer than two or three words are generally kind of irritating.

Mountain of Power
This one sounded a little too metal. There was already a ton of metal bands called this, coincidentally. Also, too serious.

Thought it would be hip and sexy to make our name more palatable by using the D’Angelo approach. Several days later we all hated the idea and thought it was wimpy.

Dude Planet
Another attempt to figure out a way to make our band name more accessible for the more skeptical and prissy listeners. Obviously rejected because it was totally soft and spineless. Also did not want to get a rep as a frat-bro band.

Dick Pillow
Another DP name. More offensive and sexual, which means someone would probably try to make it cool, which is against the rules in the DP name game.

SEE IT: Diarrhea Planet plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with the So So Glos and Boom!, on Friday, Sept. 13. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.