MARTIN CIZMAR regrets
everything about a story on poisonous berries this summer, which needed
more clarity to even be funny. He will never assign another story about
wild edibles that doesn’t include at least three interviews with
experts. He also regrets the timing of his screed about Oregon’s uninspired IPAs, which hit newsstands just before the recipes for Boneyard RPM and Laurelwood’s Workhorse
were tweaked. Also, forgetting to include the review he wrote of Fire on the Mountain’s brewing operation
in last year’s Beer Guide. (On the plus side, he already has one
never-before-published listing done for this year’s guide.) He also
regrets not sending former staffer Ben Waterhouse the $50 he won
at the state journalism awards banquet sooner—it’s in the mail now. He
also regrets leaving Pearl Jam’s Portland concert before Sleater-Kinney reunited
for the first time in almost a decade to join the band’s closer,
“Rockin’ in the Free World,” and not finding the giant weed tent outside
the Seattle Pearl Jam concert.
REBECCA JACOBSON regrets confusing Seattle-manufactured (and thus inherently inferior) Utilikilts
with locally produced Stumptown kilts favored by Roadside Attraction
patrons. She’s grateful, though, for careful readers who catch her
mistakes, and she expects an invitation to Rich’s birthday party in 2014
in hopes that this year’s costumes will be just as fabulous. She also
regrets calling Mike Daisey a “weaselly talker”—he’s an outright weasel, no hedging required. She regrets nothing she wrote about Streetcar Bistro & Taproom.
MATTHEW KORFHAGE regrets leaving Pacific Pie Co.
out of the Cheap Eats guide, as he considers the Anglo-Celtic meat pie
one of history’s greatest inventions. He regrets not treatingLee Daniels’ The Butler
as a more lurid and interesting example of camp than he’d first taken
it for. Conversely, he regrets giving a solid B to a C-plus movie,
namely Woody Allen’sBlue Jasmine. He regrets not being
much crueler to Old Town in the Bar Guide; friends with drinking
problems sometimes need tough love, and the entire marauding suburb of
Gresham is no exception. He also regrets taking part in our taste test
of pumpkin beers, as it has forever damaged his relationship with
nutmeg and cloves, and probably made it so he will never drink a
pumpkin beer again. He does not regret killing a rabbit.
MATTHEW SINGER regrets
growing up at the beach and never learning to surf. And there was that
one time he could’ve gone to an Oscars viewing party at Melissa Etheridge’s house
but skipped it for some reason he can’t even remember. That was
definitely a mistake. And the older he gets, the more he wonders what
his life would have been like if he’d gone to engineering school. Oh
wait, you meant regrets for 2013 specifically? Well, drinking that dog beer was pretty gross.