Editor’s Note: Last week, columnist AP Kryza disappeared, leaving only a garbled voicemail. His whereabouts remain unknown. We did, however, receive a cryptic note—delivered by a bowtie-wearing Shiba Inu—containing illustrations of Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze in various Kamasutra positions, a poorly edited short story about Babe the pig, a single lock of lustrous hair, and lots of snickerdoodle crumbs. In light of this, we’ve again called on Deborah Kennedy for information about what’s playing in Portland’s repertory theaters.
- Screening as part of the Reel Feminism series, Maria in Nobody’s Land delves into the real-life trials of three Salvadoran women, who flee their country for the U.S. in search of a better life. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Wednesday, March 26.
- The Hayao Miyazaki lovefest (i.e., the Classics From Studio Ghibli series) continues at the NW Film Center with showings of the lesser-known Castle in the Sky (7 pm Thursday, March 27), and the more popular Howl’s Moving Castle (4:30 pm Saturday, March 29). Both involve castles. Both are breathtaking. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium.
- The problem with being Kurt Russell is, sometimes you’re called upon to save your best friend’s emerald-eyed fiance from an immortal sorcerer who wants nothing more than to marry a girl with green eyes so he can again achieve bodily form. It’s a tough job, but in Big Trouble in Little China, Kurt does it, and all with the help of Kim Cattrall. Laurelhurst Theater. March 28-April 3.
- Having spent years in his father’s traveling circus, Benjamin has one question in Selton Melo’s award-winning dramedy The Clown (O Palhaco): “Who’s going to make me laugh?” Everyone knows the tears of a clown leave the longest tracks. They can also make for one helluva moving movie. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Friday, March 28.
- As part of the NW Film Center’s Forever Burt series, Lancaster and his trademark grin show up in three classics: The Swimmer, a 1968 film based on a John Cheever short story about one man’s pool-to-pool journey across his largely disappointing life (7 pm Friday-Saturday, March 28-29); The Crimson Pirate (4:30 pm Sunday, March 30), one of Lancaster’s many swashbucklers, about a band of freebooters bent on stopping the progress of the British navy; and Atlantic City (7 pm Sunday, March 30), Louis Malle’s latter-day film noir in which Lancaster plays Lou, a middle-aged small-timer who gets a second lease on life and crime thanks to a young Susan Sarandon. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium.
- Jean-Claude Van Damme almost broke the Internet last year with his whole “splits from two moving Volvo trucks” stunt (all set to Enya, no less), but you ain’t seen nothing if you’ve yet to watch Street Fighter, a mid-’90s martial-arts cult classic in which Van Damme, as Col. William F. (U.) Guile, is tasked with saving the world from the likes of dictator Gen. M. Bison (Raul Julia). Co-starring Kylie “Sexercize” Minogue as Lt. Cammy. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Saturday, March 29.
- What do telephone booths, George Carlin and Napoleon’s lackluster bowling game all have in common? The answer is, of course, Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, a stoner comedy sans the weed but full of Keanu Reeves, fascinating historical tidbits and other such bogus things. Party on, dudes. Hollywood Theatre. 7 pm Monday, March 31.
- What remains to be said about the genius that is Space Jam, a film that pits Michael Jordan and the heroes of Looney Tunes against scheming amusement park owner Swackhammer, and ends with the best outer space basketball tournament/triumph of the cartoon spirit ever known to Moron Mountain? Nothing? OK. Clinton Street Theater. 3 and 7 pm Tuesday, 3 and 9 pm Wednesday, April 1-2.